Is it just me?

My fh is the same the only thing he cared about was food... im constanly saying this is our wedding not my wedding if i ask for your oppinion im asking cuz i need it and i cant make up my own dang mind!

His excitement might be more visible as the date gets closer, or come up at an unexpected time. I think some people are intimidated by this stuff and don't want to get into the details, or don't want to come across as overbearing; my FH always says that if it were up to him, we'd get married in a courthouse, so he's content with me to plan my "dream wedding."

Even though I'm the one planning everything, I discuss vendors and anything that requires a decision with my FH. Most of the time, he's pretty chill and basically says whatever I want is fine with him, but he'll give me more thoughtful feedback if I ask.

Recently, I decided to talk to him about cakes, thinking he wouldn't want to give any input at all. To my surprise, he was extremely vocal about what he likes and doesn't like, and apparently has a very specific cake vision, lol. Did not see that one coming at all!

I wouldn't be concerned. I would just keep plugging away at planning, and keep talking with him. Even though he's not overly involved or doesn't seem that invested right now, it's still good to talk with him about it. You never know when he might open up or have an opinion on something!

(I also keep telling my FH to let me know if I get obnoxious with all the wedding talk, but after a year of being engaged and casually working on planning off and on for a year--with another year still to go--he still keeps saying it's cute. We'll see how long that lasts, haha!)

Try asking him what are the three things he cares most about. For my husband, it was food, music and how formal the wedding was (or wasn't!), and he was more involved than I was in those decisions. He was also the one who came up with the idea of using piles of our favourite books as centrepieces, but beyond that he didn't care about decor at all. Other things I'd narrow it down to two or three options, all of which I was happy with, then ask him which he liked best. It seemed to work in that he wasn't overloaded with thousands of details but still had a say in things.

My husbands top 3 were good food, booze(coors lights) and leaving the end of the night with a wife (me!). (And surprisingly envelope colors. He said he wanted gold, which didn’t match so i got white. And he threw a fit!) He could careless about anything else.
He told me it was my wedding it was ALL for me. He would be perfectly content the two of us walking into the courthouse one afternoon. I still ran stuff by him, but I made every decision by my self. And once he explained his thinking I felt better about making those decisions. And he supported what I wanted 100%
My suggestion would be, if he does suggest anything, do it. My envelope choice got my husband discouraged. He’d say well you don’t listen to what i want any way so do what you want (when I did ask)
Day of he was so happy and excited. Don’t sweat it. He’ll be happy/excited to marry you!

So I wanted to go to the courthouse as I think weddings are a waste of time and money. But my fiancé had a courthouse wedding 10 years ago and he said I really want a real wedding, it’s important to me to say our vows in front of our friends and families and I want to celebrate and drink and dance with my friends. I thought this was sweet and romantic that it meant so much to him. Then I ended up planning the whole thing basically by myself. Everything he said he wanted to choose or help with like the catering and DJ he didn’t do any work for. He whined about looking at venues, but then was very excited once we got there. But other than that it’s just been me asking him questions he doesn’t answer, doing all the research, making all the decisions. I insisted he pick his tuxes on his own and he said whatever you want. We also picked a date and had this looong engagement based on his grandmother’s travel needs/preferences and now she says she’s not even coming. I’m very frustrated overall. Now that we are two months out and receiving RSVPs he is definitely excited, and he has always been excited about me becoming a Mrs and having a wife. But the struggle has been real. I do think the wedding will be beautiful and fun, and I am excited to marry him, spend time with our friends and family, and see all my hard work come to life. but I am tired and broke and also want it to be over.

I thought my fiance would be like that...I was so wrong. He was a little too eager. He wanted a circus themed wedding and live beta fish in the centerpieces at one point. It was crazy at first but we eventually came to an understanding. He's mellowed out now and is starting to kind of become meh about things despite us being less than 2 months away. Music and food are big things for him though his choice of music is too dark usually for wedding music so that's been a LOT of compromise. I've basically been planning most of it on my own, he learned to trust me since I had to pick the venue and make a lot of the big choices alone while he was deployed, and he goes along with what I come up with most of the time. I do love when he comes up with an idea even if we don't use it, I encourage it every time and he's become more open with his ideas instead of keeping them to himself because he thinks its silly or I'll not want to hear it. He could be doing the same thing with any ideas he has.

My FH is the same way mostly towards photography and little details. If it is in regards to something we both have to pay for then I ask him. He had actually been excited about certain things and involved when I ask him questions which surprises me. Other than that he likes the ideas I come up with and lets me do my thing as long as I talk to him. He got so excited the other night when I had him look through officiant options to see what he liked.

My FH is the same way. The only thing he got excited about was talking about our cake (lol go figure), excursions we will do on our honeymoon, and our RSVPs (he just thought they were funny). He did come home after work the other night and said 'Baby! We get married in 29 days! I can't wait". Then sat down and played his video game lol.

I wouldn't stress it, unless he's totally acting weird or telling you he doesn't want to talk about it. That's just guys, I think.
FH always tells me he truly wants whatever I want for the wedding, and that if Im happy he'll be happy.

I also have got him to help a little bit more by writing him a list of things he needed to do. For example, pick out the groomsmens gifts. I also explained how overwhelmed I was and he took over planning the catering, so he has done that 100% without my help. Maybe try telling FH your stressed and make a detailed list of things that need to be done and see which of those tasks he can take over?

Oh, something else I did to get him more involved was I would pick out 3 or 4 things that I like equally and then have him make the final decision.

I actually made a post similar to this earlier about my FH not really caring about doing the planning. It made me feel so much better about it to see that a lot of people have the same issue. And like one person told me on the bright side youll get to pick everything you want.

I feel the same way! Someone on WW commented on a post I did a few months ago and said "where is your FH personality in the wedding? this sounds like it's only about you" Welllllll getting some sort of answer about what my FH wants is like getting blood out of a turnip. He DOES NOT care at all. As long as there is beer and food, doesn't care. He doesn't even want to really have a honeymoon.

My wedding his morphed into a literary theme, which I think is awesome bc I LOVE to read but FH has never read a book in his life. He keeps just saying "yeah you should do that. you like it."

I don't want to have to make decisions I THINK he would like but he really doesn't care about it. It's frustrating.

I have spoken to him multiple times about it and he says that he just wants something simple. We both agree that if it was up to us, we would just go to the courthouse and then have a party at our parents house. But our mothers want something big. So we are going with what they want. But I would like him to partake. I have given him small tasks for him to do. And he finally sat with me to figure out decorations. So I'm feeling a lot better now.