Is it inappropriate?

In a short answer, yes. It's not up to your guests to fund your wedding and it is rude to ask for money in general. If you don't want physical gifts, simply don't have a registry and don't have a shower, as the shower's purpose is the shower the couple with gifts. People know that cash is always a good gift at weddings and they will understand that's what you want if you don't have a registry. No need to advertise that you'd prefer cash.

I thought so I just wasn’t too sure about the idea. I didn’t want to seem shallow or anything.

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Totally understand. I'd simply go without a registry.

Asking for Money for the wedding does sound a little strange. But I would say doing like a Newlywed fund or Honeymoon fund sounds a bit better if you want money rather than having a registry.

A lot of people do honeymoon funds. But that's something you can put on a wedding website or if people ask. Most people do know that money is preferred if you don't register

Same here. We've been living together for years so we don't need gifts. We've decided to not create a registry and we are going to have a Honeymoon fund box at the wedding. If they do, they do. If they don't, they don't. We're just happy they're there.

FH and I are basically doing this. For Christmas, we were straight forward in saying we just need $$$ for the wedding, any & all help is appreciated. His family all pitched in, no matter how big or how small. I won't be asking for a shower, or anything like that for gifts or anything. But I am doing a "House Fund" at the end of the wedding to help recoup the costs so we have a down payment on a house. No one frowns at cash registries anymore so don't be shy by the idea.

Anyways, I don't think it's rude at all.

Asking for money is rude. Asking for contributions to a Honeyfund or equivalent is just as rude--and they take a percentage.

That’s definitely wrong. I recently went to a wedding where a couple did this and it just rubbed me the wrong way on so many levels.


The reason guests give gifts is to thank the bride and groom for hosting them at the wedding. But if you’re asking GUESTS to contribute to paying for the wedding... then you’re not actually hosting them...?
It’s just super tacky imo. I should mention too, we had a small registry, (about 30 items) and a honeyfund as well. I’m not opposed to honeyfunds, and we made ours like so guests could contribute to specific activities (like, someone got us “swimming with dolphins” and someone got us “romantic dinner at x restaurant in the resort” etc) and people said they loved contributing to those things and feeling like they bought us an experience rather than like, a blender lol. We also sent photos of ourselves doing the things that they paid for on the honeymoon, to thank them again and show them that we actually did it and how much we enjoyed and appreciated it.
We invited 150 people to our wedding, and 100 came. We were gifted about 20 of our 30 registry gifts. We were given about $1500 worth of honeyfund gifts. And the rest of the people just gave us cash or checks.
Basically, tldr, you don’t need to ask guests to help sponsor your wedding, because most of them will probably give you cash or checks anyway, and then you can basically just reimburse yourself for the wedding costs lol. But asking for the money specifically to be used to pay for the event that you’re inviting them to, is super tacky!

I'd also feel weird about asking for it "for the wedding", but I disagree with some other comments saying you shouldn't ask for money under any circumstances. My fiance and I will have been living together 3 years by the time we're married, so we don't need blenders and gravy boats... we need money! There's so much life to pay for... honeymoon, needing a new car (we have a 2004 right now), graduate school, saving for a down payment for a home... I think it's reasonable to explain that money is the most helpful thing to you

Asking for money is not the issue, but asking for money before hand for the wedding is where it might be taken as rude. It might turn your guests off to even coming because they will feel you only asked to help fund the wedding. It's like throwing a birthday party but asking for money before hand to buy all the supplies and cake.

We are doing a Honeyfund through our wedding website (Zola). We did a small registry as well, for the more traditional guests, but put items on our honeyfund specifically for our honeymoon. For example, bikes in Berlin or Castle Tour in Ireland. It will also give us the ability to really personalize thank yous as we can send the contributors pictures from the activity they paid for! I’ve talked with a lot of friends and older relatives about this and have gotten really positive feedback!

This question comes up so often and it always confuses me. I don’t understanding how couples plan entire weddings that they can’t actually afford. That may not be your specific reason, but no... please don’t ask family and friends to pay for your wedding (and then invite them to an event that they paid for).

I agree with anyone who said asking for money isn’t the issue, I just personally wouldn’t advertise the money’s purpose as for the wedding specifically. There’s nothing at all wrong with a cash fund or honeymoon fund or however they’re named, I’m not sure why people find such an issue with them. People are getting married now after years of living together already. Why load up your house with unnecessary home items that you already own when you could receive money to go towards a down payment or a much needed new car. Some people need to get over themselves and all these “rules”. Do whatever you and your FH feel comfortable with I say

It seems a little odd because not many do this, but it’s whatever you and your guests are comfortable with. It is outrageous how expensive things are. Might make more sense to just ask for money for wedding gifts instead of material objects and keep the wedding itself low budget?

Yes it is. Have the wedding you can afford. You shouldn't expect your guests to foot the bill. Maybe skip having a registry and hope that you receive cash as gifts instead of 15 toasters lol.