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Dedicated November 2019

Is it ever ok for some to promote themselves to bridesmaid?

Caitlyn, on September 1, 2019 at 12:33 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12

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Disclaimer: What's done is done and I've already chosen my bridesmaids. But it crosses my mind from time to time when I see them.
3 of my co workers kept joking with me before I got engaged that they would all be my bridesmaids, and they kept saying how they'd have to practice how to wear high heels and what not. In the end I didnt ask them because I didnt feel close enough for them to stand by me on my wedding day. All 3 are married and 2 of them have children, so I also didnt want to put that financial burden of them. Also, with us all working at the same place in a retail business I wasn't sure if I could count on them to show up if for some reason they were scheduled to work the day of the wedding. I dont think anyone should ever offer themselves as bridesmaid, cause it puts the bride in a very awkward situation. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Yes they are all invited to the wedding, but they are not in the wedding party.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Naikesha, on September 3, 2019 at 10:53 AM

Master May 2019
Chandra · on September 1, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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My MOH did that....I am such a people pleaser I didnt know how to say no. I think she took the teenage "we totally have to be MOH for each other!" Thing too far. I wasnt even invited to her wedding. It was frustrating and awkward. My mom said had she known that MOH wasnt my first choice, she would have talked me out of keeping her to maintain the peace.
I'm no longer friends with her!
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 1, 2019 at 12:42 PM
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I don't think it's okay, but I also don't think that most people mean it that seriously. I also don't think of being my bridesmaid as a "promotion."
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on September 1, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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One of FH's coworkers said something about her wanting to be a bridesmaid, but I wanted to keep my bridal party to only my closest friends. I was a little annoyed because I don't think anyone should assume they're going to be a BM. She was probably joking, but even still I agree with you, it did put me in an awkward position!
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Super October 2019
Kelly · on September 1, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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I think many people joke, but it can definitely be awkward. The day that I got engaged, my cousin sent me a text - saying MOH right here. I was a bit taking back, but I responded - so many decisions need to be made, but I know that I would love to have you besides me as a bridesmaid. She took super offensive to it, especially since my MOH is technically a “friend” - although we refer to each other as sisters & have known each other since we were 4. I was in the room when her daughter was born. But my cousin opted out of the wedding, saying that she didn’t want to be in the wedding as I chose friends over family.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on September 1, 2019 at 3:05 PM
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My fiancé and I decided not to have a bridal party because we wanted to keep things simple. My two best friends know that they would have been chosen if I did, and totally understand and are ok with my decision. They also have dubbed themselves my unofficial bridesmaids and have been there to look at dresses or help with anything that comes up with planning. They’ve joked about getting matching dresses, and I don’t care if they do, but I’m just happy that they’re happy for me and are having fun even though there’s no bridal party.
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VIP November 2019
Laura · on September 1, 2019 at 5:25 PM
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I guess, technically, this is what my MOH did. We didn’t ever actually have a conversation about it, she & I both just assumed she would be my MOH. There isn’t anyone I’d rather have though, so I thought nothing of it.
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on September 1, 2019 at 7:02 PM
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Yes!

Four people did this to me.

I’ve had to replace 2, and almost another one.

1 is getting married 2 weeks before me, and we had that “I can’t do both conversation.

The 2nd one rushed to get married before other 2 of us because she got engaged first. Since she was so “busy” I went ahead and made plans to replace her if she didn’t advise of 👗selection within 2 weeks. She stopped talking to me.

So, I replaced her and didn’t invite her to my Wedding.
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Super October 2020
Eri · on September 1, 2019 at 9:01 PM
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I don't think people realize how awkward jokes or comments like that can be.
None of my friends assumed they'd be asked. The only person who 110% knew was my sister, who is my MOH--and she knew because we've talked about it for forever and are super close.
One of the other girls that I asked was surprised, and said that she just figured I'd have family only.
But this situation comes up a lot, even with groomsmen! My FH asked his best friend to be his best man, and the friend happily accepted. When we found out this friend got engaged, my FH's immediate reaction was to make a joke about getting to be the best man himself. Made things a bit awkward when we found out this wedding wouldn't have a bridal party. (Everything's fine with FH and his buddy; FH wasn't offended at all.)
Assuming leads to awkwardness!
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Just Said Yes November 2019
Amber · on September 1, 2019 at 10:57 PM
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We are not having a bridal party either, and my friends have joked with me in this same exact way! But they have been awesome through it all and threw me a bachalorette party and helped with my bridal shower. I do plan on having a few professional photos with them. Basically all that’s left out is having them throw money away on dresses they will likely wear once!
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on September 3, 2019 at 8:15 AM
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One of my old friends told me she would be offended if she wasn’t a bridesmaid. She’d always wanted to be one, and so far her attempts had been foiled lol. As it is, she decided we’re no longer friends (not completely unrelated to the wedding but also not because of it) and ghosted me from her life. So it didn’t matter in the end. But she was not going to be a bridesmaid.
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Super October 2019
Cassi · on September 3, 2019 at 10:39 AM
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This definitely happened to me when I was having issues with one of my BMs there was this girl that was dating the best man in the wedding and we got pretty close. We use to get brunch every Sunday with mimosas, she was there for me when my sister passed away BUT I know our best man very well and he doesn't date girls long. They lasted maybe 5 months. When I started having issues with a MIA bridesmaid I was talking about dropping her and she kept pushing for me to replace her with her... it was so awkward. even invited herself dress shopping... it was so uncomfortable. Luckily before dress shopping had been arranged her and best man broke up. This was the day I learned she was nuts.... after knowing what I went through with my sister (she committed suicide in January), she was threatening it just because best man broke up with her.
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on September 3, 2019 at 10:53 AM
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Super awkward as your bridal party should be whom you see standing there to support you on your big day!
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