Is it bad to ask guests to help pay for their meal?

It would be very bad to do this. Invite the amount of guests you can afford to host or have it at a non mealtime and do just cake or something like that.

It’s your wedding, you pay for all costs associated with it. Guests should absolutely not have to pay for their own meal.

Yes this would not be good. If you are asking people to come to your wedding you have to provide food and beverages for them.

Yes this would be bad. I’d look into community centers, fire halls, or VFW/legions in your area and then look at a local restaurant you like for catering trays.

Like others have said, it would be extremely rude. Guests shouldn't ever be expected to pay for their meals or drinks. If you can't afford to properly host them then you need to downsize your guest list, have your reception at non-meal time, or make cuts in other areas.

Yes it would be. It’s like inviting someone to your house for a party and asking them to pay because you’ll be making food for them.
There are ways to cut down cost, such as reducing your number of guests, finding a place that lets you use any caterer you’d like so you can shop around, getting food catered from your favorite restaurant, or doing a punch and cake reception during a non meal time.

Go with your gut: this idea makes you feel terrible because it isn't the right thing to do. You've gotten good advice for ways to make weddings more affordable, so you definitely have options. Good luck with your planning!

Never ask your guests to pay for their own food and drinks. Scale back on a less expensive venue, a less expensive caterer/menu (have drop off service from your favorite casual restaurant), scale back on the alcohol and only serve one beer/wine/mixed drink option within your budget.


Cut out obligatory invites you don’t care about and aren’t close to. Cut out favors. Avoid all inclusive venues because their food/drink minimum alone is bigger than most people’s entire budgets. Go with a blank slate industrial warehouse or park department owned venue that allows outside catering and is a fraction of the price.

Thank you everyone for the advice. Unfortunately we cannot scale back the invites as we both have large families and are already inviting the bare minimum. The only reason I asked is because a friend of mine expressed that I could have them pay for a portion of the plate cost to help out and that she's never been to a wedding where they haven't done that. I'm glad to see people agree that it would be rude to have them pay for their meal.

It doesn't sound like you have a venue yet. If not, there are many ways to cut costs:
1) Look for venue at park, community center, hall
2) Have your wedding day any day except Saturday3) Brunch/lunch receptions are 1/2 cost of dinner catering4) Have wedding during non meal time and serve apps, cake, punch.

View Quoted Comment There is a community center we are looking into hopefully it works out but there are other people looking into the day we want and we don't have all of the money for the down payment yet. We just hope we don't lose the opportunity as we don't want to have to pull out a loan for anything.

View Quoted Comment

If you want the venue, be flexible with the date. Many parks department owned venues are very inexpensive and include all tables/chairs/kitchen in the rental fee. You just bring in restaurant drop off catering, baker, dj, etc.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the positive reply. I mentioned in another reply that I had asked due to a friend mentioning that she's been to many weddings where she's been asked to pay for her meal. It didn't really sit right with me initially and wanted to hear more opinions on it. I'm glad people agree that it wouldn't be right.

Yeah, this would be just about as bad as it could get. I agree with the PPs' suggestions to look into community centers and parks as potential venues, or consider doing a cake and punch reception during a non-meal time.

I've never heard of an actual wedding where guests were expected to pay for their meals. It's not a thing.


To cut costs, I recommend you find a "blank slate" venue or a public park, beach hall, consider a Friday wedding, do a "cake and punch" reception during a non meal time for a couple of hours were you serve cake and lemonade
Good luck

Invite less people and cover their whole meal. Remember you may be getting some cash gifts too.

That's a terrible idea and you will surely lose some guests if you make them pay for food. They're already expected to bring you a gift, it would be an insult to ask them to feed themselves too. Cut your list if you can't afford to feed all your guests. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Good for you, OP for listening to your gut! I pray you gather the money to reserve your affordable venue. Like PP have pointed out, there are lots of ways to have a sensible wedding.


I’m very curious where your friend is from that she’s never been to a wedding where people didn’t pay for their meals!

It would be 1000% rude to ask guests to help pay for their meals. Wedding are a luxury not a necessity. You plan the wedding only you and your fiance can afford. The reception is kind of like a gift to the guests for coming to watch you get married.

You could have it at a park, a friend or family member house if they have the land, community center, or a fire hall. Then you can get a catering company that fits your budget. BBQ is sometimes cheap. Or you can have just a punch and cake reception. If you have alcohol you could do just beer and wine. You can do digital save the dates and invites. You can get your dress second hand. Or theirs a Facebook group called wedding dress resale you can join, lots of brides sell their dresses cheaper on their or even give them away to brides in need. There is even a wedding group on Facebook for decor. These are just some ideas that could maybe help scale back on the spending.