Is it appropriate

Would she be attending as a guest anyway? If so then yes. If he is a vendor you hired off the street, then no.

We are inviting my fiancé’s pastors wife because we’re having them as guest, as well.

What Michelle said, if the rabbi is a guest then yes his wife should be invited.

I am assuming that you are not inviting rabbi to the reception (otherwise then his wife should be invited as well). Is your ceremony held in a temple that you are a member of? I know plenty of religious figures (pastors, priests, rabbis) whose spouses attend the ceremonies they are performing. As the granddaughter of a peacher who performed weddings on Saturdays and preached all day on Sundays my grandma would attend ceremonies (even if they weren't invited to the reception) so that they could go do something after or just to support the spouse and member of the congregation who was getting married.

From what I understand of these things, the Rabbi is often part of the social community. Inviting the Rabbi to one’s home etc is often really common. So perhaps this is an extension of that?
There is a lot of “a la carte” no mans land when it comes to religious officiants in weddings today. Lots of couples hire the religious officiant rather than it being their church pastor or where they grew up, so there isn’t a connect there. It’s not quite a “vendor” relationship because there is the religious element, that sort of thing.
I would allow her to attend, unless someome

Is he attending the whole wedding, ceremony, cocktail hour if you have one and reception?

Is this a rabbi that you simply hired to officiate your wedding and had no relationship with prior? If so, then no, the rabbi should not be bringing his wife.

But if the rabbi is invited as a guest (i.e. this is your family rabbi, synagogue rabbi, or someone that you knew and had a relationship with prior to the wedding), then the rabbi's spouse should be invited just like any other guest along with their significant other.

Depends if you invited them to the reception or not. I invited my rabbi and she declined so she is just coming to the ceremony and is not bringing her partner. If they don’t come to the reception it is super weird to being a partner to the ceremony since they are basically the emcee.

If this is a hired vendor, absolutely not.


If this is someone who's performing his service for free, and is an invited guest for the reception, his wife should be invited to the ceremony and reception.
If he's doing this as a member of your community, for free, and will be leaving after the ceremony, the gracious thing to do is let his wife come. She doesn't have to sit in the first row or anything.