Is inviting family all or nothing?

I think it's totally fine to invite only the relatives that you have a personal relationship with. My FH has 7 aunts and uncles, but we only invited 1

You can invite whoever you want but don't pick an arbitrary age like 15. Do 21 and older to avoid splitting up families.

I would say do 18+ if that's what you are sticking to. Invite who you want and put only their names on the invitation

The reason for 15 is that I have a couple of cousins that are 16 that I love to death. I like Elphaba's idea of just indicating how many are invited via RSVPS, then I wouldn't have to have an official cutoff.

Oh, and Elphaba I totally love your name and you might catch me calling you Elphie lol.

I did not invite any cousins from my Mom's side because I haven't talked to them in many years.

I would try not to break up households. If you are inviting some under 18 cousins, you should invite their siblings as well. If you aren't close with any of the cousins in that family it is ok not to invite them.

Honestly, this is totally your judgement call. We have HUGE families as well. We couldn't afford to host all of our extended family, and even though we aren't mega close to each and every one of them, we did not feel good about inviting some and not the others, so we are only inviting our immediate families which still amounts to 30 guests.

We have found a solution!

We asked the two cousins under 18 to be ushers, and then we're gonna do an age restriction of 18 for everyone else. Their only sibling is 3 years old so he's not likely to be offended.

Thanks y'all for your advice. I definitely wouldn't want to separate families that are close in age, unfortunately I also don't want a tow of 3 year olds whose names I don't know.

I have a large family as well. My dad was 1 of 6, and their kids have kids, who kids. Lol So I only invited my aunts and uncles, and the cousins I felt closest too.

My moms the oldest of 7 and my dad's the youngest of 8. I too have a lot of aunts and uncles. I invited all of them, cousins from my moms side because I'm close to them, two cousins on my dad's side love in my city, the rest of the cousins I'm not close with so won't get an invite. I don't see anything wrong with that.

We have you beat for aunts and uncles and cousins. For us, it wasn't all or nothing. For my FH, it was important that he invited those he's closest to, so he invited 3 aunts and uncles and their families, which came to about 20. I felt more like I needed to do it in circles, so I did all my aunts and uncles (20 total), then only two cousins who I'm close to. We really didn't want a big wedding filled with people we don't see that often. If we had invited aunts, uncles, cousins, and their families, our family guest list would have been over 200.

We did strictly 21 and up, so the cousins 22 and up were invited, almost 18 and below were not. We were 25 and 26 and we're not close to the younger ones. In fact, my youngest cousin - maybe 9 at the time ? - I had only met twice, at the time we married.

My sister and brother in law didn't invite and uncle from each side. They had a 100 guest capacity and their parents didn't even have the addresses of those uncles. it is what it is ...

Large families must be the new thing...On my mom's side, between aunts, uncles, first cousins, and their kids, it's about 90 people and we are all super close and get together at least twice a year. But all of them are out of town so I only expect maybe half to show up. Although I couldn't do it, I like your idea of making the 2 16 yr olds ushers and doing 18+.

The invite who you want thing is kind of arbitrary. Some of us have huge families and would offend some family members if they weren't invited. I get it- don't invite everyone you know. But I'm not okay with my great Aunt hating me for not inviting her one son and his wife but not her other two adult children. There are family politics any way you swing it with a wedding. Whether you like it or not and you will hurt some people. Just make sure it's people you won't miss.