Savvy April 2020

Is being just not exited normal?

Michelle, on December 13, 2019 at 2:18 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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Hey everyone so im getting married friday april 24,2020 to save money we are planning the entire wedding our selfs(well more me than him) we have done alot of diy projects and have lots of help from family to pay for things/organizing. Long story short i have an autoimmune disease and treatment for me is rituximab infusions aka chemotherapy. It is very expensive for each treatment i receive thus the reason we are saving money wherever we can. When i got engaged in early april i was soo exited and we both started planning right way because we wanted to get married with in a year of our engagement. As time gets closer and things need to be payed off(venue,photo and video,cake ,ect.) and finalized like our diy projects. The more i am getting stressed out because i realize we dont have much time now before the wedding. When i ask my fiancee his opinion on things or when we should have things done by he tells me not to worry we still have 4 months its plenty of time well do it later its frustrating and ive gotten this answer from him for the last 6months on things hes a huge procrastinator always been an in the moment kind of man which is nice but not when it comes to a wedding lol. In the beginning everyone asked me if i was excited for the wedding and to get married my answer has always been yes and currently when i get asked this im just kind of numb i just answer not really idk if its the stress of planning or maybe it just hasent hit me that im really getting married so soon but i just dont feel exited at this moment is that weird or normal in this process? Has anyone ever felt like this or is it just me?


  • J
    Savvy October 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    Don't worry, feeling not excited about the wedding for periods of time is perfectly normal, especially with all the stress that comes with it. I imagine this must be double for you, besides the planning and the projects, you are also dealing with your treatment on top of it. I planned a lot of DIY projects for my wedding a couple of months ago in October since we had a pretty niche theme that I really wanted to run with. Then as the wedding got closer and I started running out of time, I felt more stress and less excited and I couldn't just wait for the wedding to be over with!

    I learned to let go of some things that I couldn't get to do, and acknowledge that the wedding would still be good and that small detail didn't matter so much in the end.

    What also helped me was that we and the wedding party stayed in an AirBnb the night before the wedding (since it was a bit out of town), so I COULDN'T work on any more DIY projects! It really helped me take a step back, let go, and relax.

    So some advice I give you would be to take a day or two before the wedding to stop everything and get some rest and recharge before your big day! Non-negotiable! (Well, a little negotiable, since I was still working on a few things like my vows, asked a groomsman to pick something up from home, and messing around with sending my seating chart to be printed at the venue's office - but certainly I was no longer painting or gluing or what have you that night). I think you will feel a lot better!

    Good luck, and I wish you all the best with your treatments! And don't sweat the small stuff, the wedding will still be great Smiley smile

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    This is perfectly normal. My husband put things off or didn't want to discuss this either which was very discouraging. If you look on here you will see that lots of women have problems with their fiances not being helpful. It is definitely a guy thing. While I'm sure he can't wait to marry you, he obviously isn't a planner. You said he has always been this way so I wouldn't expect snt different when it comes to planning your wedding. My advice is take a short break of planning. I can tell you there were times when I wanted to forget the whole thing and just elope. He kept telling me I would regret it if I didn't have the wedding of my dreams and he would have been right. It all worked out in the end. Our wedding was everything I wanted.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Totally normal to go through periods where the stress outweighs the excitement lol. The way I’d always get myself through it is remembering the certain aspects of the day that I was always excited about no matter what. Things like:
    1. Seeing my husband’s reaction to hearing my self written vows, and hearing his.
    2. Seeing his face when I walk down the aisle3. Wearing my dress4. Seeing my out of town relatives
    Things like that were always exciting to me even when i wasn’t excited about the wedding overall. So I was able to just focus on that.
    • Reply
  • J
    Dedicated February 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I'm the same way, I find the planning process draining, my excitement comes early in the mornings when I wake up next to my man, we've been together for almost 9yrs and bought a house together 5yrs ago, still excited to be waking up next to him! But then all those little details start to Ware on me! Ughhh
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    I felt the same way! H and his family don't know much about wedding planning, so the bulk of planning fell on me. It really took a toll and wore me out. I was just ready for the day to come so I could get it over with!

    All of your hard work will pay off though! It's a really stressful thing to plan, but your wedding will be gorgeous and special in its own way Smiley heart

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