Is anyone else not quite ready for children but starting to get really ‘clucky’?

I've wanted DH's kids for .... a REALLY long time, now. But, I'm older, and once I realized he was the one, I kind of didn't care if the timing wasn't right?

On the other hand, we had lined up work and a lot of things really well... and then COVID hit. Given my age and how we don't know when our main industry will really get going again (theatre), we just decided to go for it.

...Now none of my pants fit.

I suppose I've *always* been a bit "clucky". I love babies, I always have, and I have been told I'm really good with them. Frankly, baby toes and fat baby dimples tend to leave me in a puddle.

I have been feeling a similar way. Always said we would wait a little while to start “trying” but so many of my friends have been scary me with their stories of trying for 1,2,3 years... My husband and I decided to just try without trying, if that makes sense. I stopped my birth control pills and we are just letting nature take it’s course so there’s no pressure or stress of getting pregnant. I’m also 30 and he’s 35 so time is ticking for us, sadly. If you’re feeling ready, I would just have that conversation with your FH. Chances are, he may be feeling the same way you do! Good luck!

I’m 100% there. I’m getting married a little later than most of my friends did, and they all have children already. But I promised FH that we’d wait a year or two to have children (because I’m MUCH more into the idea of kids than he is), so I’m keeping it to myself for now and focusing on the amazing thing— I’m getting married to the best person ever in less than 6 months! And I know down the road he’ll be a great dad and the extra time will let him adjust to the changes that are going to come with being married/integrated into my family.

I always get asked the question about when am i having kids, etc. i've been married for almost two years now and so i think it's a natural thought people have.

my mom and mom in law are definitely pushing it though. they're just like why haven't you given us grandkids yet?!

i want to wait. i'm 27 so i don't necessarily feel any rush or pressure yet. and i also just don't want to rush into something if i'm not 100% for it. the longer my husband and i are together the more open i am about wanting kids but i'm still not 100% there. maybe i will be in a few years time but i know that i don't want to make a decision where my heart and head aren't 100% for.

We already know we're waiting at least 2 years after marriage to start trying for a baby, but boy do I want one now lol. I know we're not in the place to have one now, our wedding is September 2022, we're in the process of buying our first home (hopefully close in 2 weeks) and we're really excited to just live together, just the two of us after 6 years of living with his parents.

But our nephew was born last night, we tailgated outside the hospital for the gender reveal lol and this morning his brother texted us pictures of the baby and while FH was holding back tears I was begging him to put a baby in me lmao.

Thankfully, our new house is walking distance to his brother's house so I can just go and snuggle with baby nephew when I need a good baby snuggle so that should help the wait.

View Quoted Comment

Time is on our side (I am 24) but I think the grounding factor for me is that none of our friends have children or are close to it and I hate the idea of not having any family friends for my little ones to grow up with. Lol you'd think that of all the reasons this one wouldn't be the one to make me put a plug in it?!

View Quoted Comment

Yeah my FH is just the same, he wants kids and is really great with them, but if it came down to 'let's do this right now?' he certainly would not be ready. I think your thought process re letting them adjust to the change of married life is a really important one and I think I too need to hold up and allow for that too.

View Quoted Comment

The pressure is horrible isn't it! My mum literally told me that the moment she got married, if she gained even a tiny bit of weight people pounced on her to ask if she was pregnant (only to struggle to conceive me for 7 years). I feel like it's only going to get worse once married for sure.

It's almost like there is this assumption that the moment you get married, bam your baby factory will open for production.

View Quoted Comment

I feel that! Having other babies/children in your life can be such a double edged sword, both comforting to focus on someone else's kids for a while, but also a reminder of wanting your own. Good luck with the house purchase, that must be so exciting!

View Quoted Comment

Absolutely. my mom and mother in law especially are on me about it a lot. and the thing is they tell ME. they don't do that to my husband. i got married when i was 25 turning 26. and i knew i was going to wait a while to have kids, if any. and my mom in law would be like "i got pregnant right after marrying" OK WELL YOU WERE ALSO 34 YEARS OLD WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED. like they don't even realize that we're at very different places in life than they were ya know? My mom also had her first kid at 33. so i just get kind of annoyed that they don't really understand that maybe i want the same.

their reasoning is "we're already old so if you have a kid now we can help you raise them since we're active and healthy still. but if you wait too long then who knows if we'll be well enough to" ... but that's still going off of YOUR timeline and not mine.