Is anyone else just complete overwhelmed?

Similar shoes... My wedding was scheduled for April 2020 and is now September 2021. I'm seriously starting back up again with planning and it's odd like looking at an old VHS tape, I remember things but it seems unreal too.

We bought a house in June 2020 and focused on that rather than our postponed wedding. I never thought I'd get married either so planning is about discovering what I want rather than recreating a dream I never had.

I would say, backyard weddings are great but a lot of work for the couple and family, my sister's was two weeks ago and my back still hurts from carrying chairs. Try to find a venue that offers what you need and go from there. Don't feel too guilty about wanting to celebrate love, life is too short for that type of regret.

First of all, don't feel guilty at all about wanting to have a wedding and celebrate your marriage! Sure, weddings can be absurdly expensive for, as you very rightly put it, a one day party. But don't let that stop you from having that party!

I think the first thing you and your fiancé need to do is sit down and discuss together what your must haves, nice to haves, and don't needs are. Then I recommend going on Pinterest and just start searching for wedding inspiration based on what you both agreed upon. That will help you determine what sort of venue you should start looking for, which will in turn help you determine what sort of vibe you want.

Then, the next most important thing you need to do is figure out the financials! Setting a budget can be really hard when you don't know how much vendors are going to cost so I recommend having a list here of what you are willing to splurge on and what you're willing to cut costs on. There's also a lot on Pinterest about how to cut costs without sacrificing too much.

Wedding planning can be super overwhelming so just take it one task at a time! At the end of the day, while it is an expensive party, it's also a celebration of the love you and your FH share.

Same. Just same. Everything is so overwhelming and complicated and expensive. It’s just seems like way too much. It honestly is so overwhelming that I often consider just eloping.

View Quoted Comment That was such a sweet and romantic yet thoughtful reply. Hopefully your wedding is a huge success!

I also got engaged in February 2020, bought a house in August, and am only just now diving into full wedding-planning mode. No, you are not being unreasonable or selfish for wanting to make this a special day. Yes, the money could go to more practical things but your health and happiness are also important. Just because memories and experiences are intangible does not mean they don't matter. What is life for if not living it to the fullest and celebrating happiness?



That being said, you can have a wonderful wedding without spending all of your life's savings. Focus on what is the most important to you and your FH and put your money there. Get a big ballgown if that is what your heart desires. If you don't care about the location or food then have a potluck at the park for your reception. Both situations are completely okay.

I also got engaged early 2020 and we pushed our wedding back to 2022. I went through the same feelings of selfishness, guilt, and lack of enthusiasm. My best advice, is to remind yourself that it's ok to spend money on a wedding and celebrate you day, this is something that almost everyone does. It also helped me to set a budget first so I didn't stress about how much everything costs individually; once I accepted that we planned to spend a certain amount of money, for some reason I stopped stressing about every little expense. I would recommend spending the money on a wedding planner, or even just a day-of-coordinator, to handle setup and teardown and avoid too much diy-ing because of your illness. Finally, my last bit of advice is to only plan things that you are genuinely excited about and try not to worry about what other people think (easier said than done).

Last year has been such a wild roller coaster for all of us Covid brides. Hats off to you for mentally making it through and congrats on buying your first home!

Weddings are what you make them. It sounds like you feel guilty about having a big party but a wedding can be small, mini, or even medium sized and still be a great celebration of your union. There isn't any reason to feel guilty about wanting something special. Especially being a survivor of abuse, sometimes we tend to convince ourselves that we don't deserve or want certain things. You deserve every little thing that matters to you and then some. I am also an avid believer of "it may sound selfish but so what?" Sometimes it is okay to be a little selfish. Especially if it means giving yourself something you truly want (in a healthy way, of course).

Wishing you clearer thoughts