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Just Said Yes December 2020

Is a Wedding 2.0 appropriate?

Stomach, on December 2, 2020 at 6:08 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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Wedding 2.0, vow renewal, anniversary party whatever you want to call it.. my husband and I just want a total redo. Our wedding was a disaster. Not like someone died or anything but a lot went wrong.

-My car was having issues causing me to be two hours late. -Our venue double booked us with another wedding causing arguments and further delay.-The car issues caused me to forget my dress and shoes. My venue was 40 minutes away so no one had time to run back and get them.-The officiant was late because he forgot. He didn’t get there til 30 minutes after we were ready to begin.-Our cake was supposed to be white with gold accents, it was yellow and bright orange.-The person who helped me bring my stuff in lost my purse and jewelry.-The photographer was sick and didn’t show. -Since the wedding started so late, everyone had to leave right after the ceremony. A few people stayed for food and cake. But we didn’t have a first dance or any kind of celebration.-There was also a family feud so my parents didn’t show at all and none of our out of state family came.-Plus, many more things but this list is plenty long.
Basically we just want to know if a wedding 2.0 would be okay. Everyone dreams of their perfect wedding and yes, there are things bound to go wrong and we expected that.. but not this. Yes, it’s basically a renewal/anniversary party but we want a complete redo of our “day to forget”. Can I wear the expensive wedding dress I never got to wear? Can we rent a big venue? Can we dance and have a big party? We don’t want or expect gifts, we just want what we spent two years planning and never got to have. We want beautiful wedding pictures to hang on our walls and a good memory of the hard work we put into our wedding. Not the idea of us putting so much work into something that failed so miserably.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on December 4, 2020 at 2:02 PM

Master November 2022
Chrysta · on December 2, 2020 at 6:14 PM
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Oh my gosh, I am SO SORRY!! That sounds like a nightmare! YES, have a big vow renewal... wear your dress.. dance, eat, drink, and have the celebration you didn’t get the first time around!!
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Stomach · on December 2, 2020 at 6:38 PM
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We really want to! But with other vow renewal questions people in the comments were saying it sounds like a Pretty Princess Day.. which is not what we are trying to go for. We just want what we envisioned the first time around.
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VIP August 1997
Belle · on December 2, 2020 at 6:45 PM
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What a nightmare-wedding 😱. I thought I had the worst elopement, but yours topped mine. I too am planning for my 2nd wedding with dh, because I really can’t count my terrible elopement as my wedding back in 1998, and it took dh 23 years to realize that. I never get to choose or buy anything and plan anything. I was 7 months pregnant. Dh’s family didn’t want my family to appear in the elopement. It was just signing papers in street clothing, and chapel blessing. That’s all. This time I want to do what I always wanted since I dated dh. We only do intimate (just our kids only) because I cut ties with his family, and I don’t invite my family just to be fair. DH still respect my family though. Followed by a honeymoon we never had, even though we travel a lot, but always with babies/kids. If your dh agrees, why not? Do what you always wanted. Otherwise you only push it back in your mind like I did.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on December 2, 2020 at 6:46 PM
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Every wedding is imperfect with things that go wrong. Guests will probably side eye a huge redo after 1 year but a 5+ yr renewal won't get the same judgement. You can go all out with as you wish.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on December 2, 2020 at 6:46 PM
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Well I have no issue with a “pretty princess” day either! 😂😂 That being said though, with Covid destroying so many weddings, I think traditions and traditional ways of thinking have pretty much gone out the window. I think pretty much anything goes with weddings at this point. You guys put a lot of time, effort, and money into creating a beautiful, special, memorable day; and unfortunately you didn’t get to experience that. You deserve to have your day, celebrate with friends and family, and create those unforgettable moments!
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Just Said Yes December 2020
Stomach · on December 2, 2020 at 7:11 PM
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Like I said, we expected things to go wrong. But not 20+ things. It’s been a year since the dreadful day and we weren’t expecting a big thing right away. As long as our family is there and we can have an actual celebration, that’s all that matters to us. Our family knows how much they hurt us by not showing up and making our day about themselves so if they give a side eye, at least they will know they are part of the reason we want a redo.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on December 2, 2020 at 8:16 PM
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Sure... go for it! But this time consider hiring a wedding planner.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on December 2, 2020 at 8:50 PM
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I say go for it! You deserve to have the wedding day of your dreams. Rent out a venue, wear your big dress, do it completely over if you want!
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Master 0000
Judith · on December 2, 2020 at 11:13 PM
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I can understand the wish for a redo. But I generally think a second celebration early on is for people where illness or tragedy or pandemic prevented having a big do. For people who have one that was a dominoes game of errors, where car repairs, forgotten things, and poor organization made it so bad, think about the guests. They came to honor you. Now you want them to come again, so you cam have a better time, and pictures? And what are they, props? Coming a second time to be background to celebrating you X2? They showed once. I don't thing you are due for setting the guest's time aside to honor your marriage again for a long while . ... Throw another big party, any time you want. Have a mid-summer ball, or a swing dancing or masquerade or fantasy theme party with dancing, whatever you like for your guests. But not another party in honor of your marriage, where people feel an obligation to clear their calendar, and show support for your marriage. Your guests already been there, done that. We had 7 weddings on the calendar this last year,and 4were held. Next year we will at least go to the 3 never held, Another friend who postponed 2 years ago after an accident, and 5 we already know about, and host 2 others. And my parents and 4 sets of aunts and uncles who postponed this year or are due next, will have 30 or 40 year anniversaries, first big party since their weddings. If a friend invited us to a do over of a wedding that was held, we would laugh. Last in line behind those postponed by tragedy, or covid, or those due for the first time, and behind long marriage; anniversaries, baby things, and graduations.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on December 3, 2020 at 8:20 AM
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Yes, if you can afford it without going into debt then I say go for it.
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Master January 2022
SLY · on December 3, 2020 at 9:16 AM
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I see nothing wrong with it! You spend all that time, energy, and money hoping you'd have the best day ever and that didn't happen. Have the wedding and celebration you both want! It's well deserved!
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on December 4, 2020 at 2:02 PM
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I think it’s totally fine to have a bow renewal! My suggestions:
1. Make sure your husband is 100% on board. You don’t want to cause a strain by making him do something he doesn’t want to do!
2. I would suggest doing it for your 5 year anniversary! If you try for 2021, you may run into Covid, and after all you’ve been through, you don’t need that added stressor to potential ruin try #2! Plus, it’ll give you plenty of time to make a game plan so what happened last time doesn’t happen again. It will also give you time to save money!3. Don’t invite any of the feuding family/friends. The last thing you need is someone ruining your day because of drama.
I also agree with hiring a planner or day of coordinator to keep the day on track. Good luck!
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