Is a rehearsal dinner mandatory?

If you are having a mandatory practice run through the day before then I would say yes you should provide some refreshment or food as a thank you. I don't think it has to be a large formal expensive dinner. You could take just those present out for. A quick bite or order some Italian food for all?

That's a good idea, I always picture a huge fancy dinner with a $2000 bill lol. Do significant others come too if they're not at the rehearsal?

You need to feed everyone and their SO if you have a rehearsal, but you can have a pasta and pizza party, with beer, or bring in Chinese food, or something.

Oh! Chinese is a good idea too.

By the way, my rehearsal is at 1. Does it matter if it's a rehearsal lunch?

If you're having a rehearsal, you need a rehearsal dinner. And yes, everyone's dates should be invited, even if they weren't at the rehearsal. If you're having a flower girl/ring bearer, their parents should be invited too.

No you can do a lunch that would be just fine.

We're having a super casual BBQ and making it easy

In addition to the pizza party I've also seen cookouts/BBQ and take out from the couple's favorite restaurant

So do you need to feed people if they are required to be at the rehearsal? Typically yes

Does it need to be a formal sit down dinner? No

Also this is typically the grooms family's responsibility so check with FMIL in case she's already planning something

No, it isn't the groom's family's responsibility. It is the responsibility of the bride and groom and no one else. If someone offers, fine, but asking is rude.

I don't have that type of relationship with my in laws. I won't be asking them

My wedding and reception venue allows us to use the space for free for the rehearsal dinner, and they'll provide food for $11 a person. This really works out for us because the venue is quite a drive for a few of the people in our bridal party. It doesn't hurt to ask the venue if they offer any rehearsal packages since you'll be there for the rehearsal anyway.

I was thinking about doing that, but there's a wedding the day of my rehearsal there so we have to leave right after

If you're requesting that people attend a rehearsal, then you need to feed them after. It's just good manners. You also need to invite their dates/flower girls parents etc. It doesn't have to be formal or fancy or outrageously expensive, as others have said BBQ and beer is fine!!! So is pizza. You can go as fancy or laid back as you want.

We chose to rent a private room at a steakhouse, but other weddings I have been in did pizza and beer and I didn't think twice about it.

I chose to send out invites, just to give everyone the information, but that is also not required. I like to be fancy when I get the chance : ) A group text or email is just fine if you are doing a simple meal.

Oh, and the bride and groom are the ones financially responsible for this dinner.

My venue has our rehearsal included I was thinking of doing a pasta or even a pizza thing. But Yes I feel like you should have something. We haven't booked ours yet I feel like its way to early.

@danielle could you have FH ask? It's traditionally the grooms family that host it so I'd hate for you shell out money or plan something or stress when it's already squared away.

If you're having a rehearsal you need a dinner. It can be as simple as ordering pizza though, you don't need to go all out

If you schedule a rehearsal, you are required to host a meal. It doesn't have to be fancy, but you should serve something.

It's rude to ask anyone to host it. People need to let go of these "traditions" and pay for their own parties. Once you tell them you're having a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, I'm sure they'll tell you if they are already planning one or want to contribute to one. Don't ask.

I think it's rude to ask people to pay for something. If her FH family plans on paying for this, I'm sure they know how to speak up. The OP also said she wasn't asking them.