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Sydnie
Dedicated July 2019

Is a raffle rude?

Sydnie , on April 15, 2018 at 3:45 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 35

So I work next to a store that makes gift baskets of local products, I live in Humboldt County, CA and my family is all in Shasta for the most part. I never felt an emphasis on local products in Shasta county and I've only lived in Humboldt for a year and can already tell they're big on local foods...
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So I work next to a store that makes gift baskets of local products, I live in Humboldt County, CA and my family is all in Shasta for the most part. I never felt an emphasis on local products in Shasta county and I've only lived in Humboldt for a year and can already tell they're big on local foods and farming, lots of organic foods, hardly any chain restaurants, mostly mom and pop places. So with that in mind I felt it'd be a cute idea to have a raffle for a gift basket or 3 full of local products. 3 of my family members; dad, aunt and uncle, used to live here and understand the culture. It really is a completely different world over here. The baskets would mainly be good, I know I'd include the local favorite larrupin sauce which I even got my mom to love and shes picky, it's a sweet mustard sauce. The basket store has dozens of options that have a long shelf life and I feel it'd be a nice touch for my family coming to Humboldt to get a taste of the culture. It's not something I'd necessarily include in the menu given my fh is 100% in charge of that since it's the only thing he shows interest in planning I gave it to him. I could suggest using local products but I'm not sure how he'd respond, we are trying to be thrifty. I brought this idea of a raffle to my mom and she said it was really rude to have one and I should just put out a honeymoon jar or have a money dance, which I find appalling as my FH and I already decided on 2 things together being NO kids and NO dancing for us. We hate dancing. Plus I'd feel very uncomfortable dancing with anyone besides my FH but I'd only dance with him in private. Like I'll only dance with my developmentally disabled clients and that isn't anything special. I feel my guests would like the raffle if they didn't want to spend money on a gift or whatever they could spend a couple dollars for raffle tickets for a really tasty gift basket. Please let me know if I'm missing any sort of etiquette. I'm only 23 and I've been to one wedding in my life being my cousins back in the late '90s so I know nothing other than what I've learned from WW and my mother and grandmother. I posted photos of the baskets I'd want to get. Both would run under $100 together and I am inviting 83 guests. Please let me know if this sounds like a bad idea. And congrats to all you future brides and grooms Smiley smile


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35 Comments

  • M
    VIP June 2018
    Marcellab ·
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    Oh my goodness! This totally threw me for a loop reading it. I live in Humboldt as well. It's not every day I randomly stumble across pictures and questions that refer to here.

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  • Mrs.Married
    Devoted September 2017
    Mrs.Married ·
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    Yes, it would be rude. Please don’t do this.
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  • Xandria
    VIP December 2018
    Xandria ·
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    I've never heard of this? How does having a raffle six months before your wedding even work?


    A raffle at a wedding sounds like a logistical nightmare, but I kind of always think raffles are a nightmare.

    Can you do something small and local for a favor?

    Or are you doing welcome bags for your OOT guests? Thats a GREAT place to put some local things.

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  • M
    Super October 2018
    MaltedMilk ·
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    Please, no fundraisers at a wedding - you are choosing to have a wedding, you are choosing to host people. No jars out for money to help pay for anything.

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  • Sydnie
    Dedicated July 2019
    Sydnie ·
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    Then you understand the culture! Smiley smile
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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    Like I've said before, I live in an area where stag & does are ubiquitous. Nearly everyone has one.

    Some people choose to hold what is called a wedding raffle instead of a full stag & doe party. They have several prizes, with the top prize usually being $500-$1000 of stuff and so on down. Anyone can buy tickets for it and they hold the draw at a certain place and time. With the internet being what it is, it's usually held now on Facebook Live so everyone can see it if they choose.

    Honestly, I think it's a lot tackier to do this than to actually hold a party because at least a stag & doe is a fun night out and for $20 you get music and food and entertainment, and you don't have to spend more if you don't want to. There will be games and raffles if people want to partake but it's a choice.

    Just buying raffle tickets isn't fun. I will usually buy a stag & doe ticket to support friends but I never buy wedding raffle tickets. If they want to make some money for the wedding, I think they should at least have to throw the party. We spent 8 months planning ours and making it amazing.

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  • Xandria
    VIP December 2018
    Xandria ·
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    Thanks for the explanation! I really was mostly curious how the raffle works. I think the party sounds way more fun then a facebook live raffle!

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  • M
    VIP June 2018
    Marcellab ·
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    I do. I also know how expensive those products came be, having had literally everything in those baskets before. (Also where do they sell those? Bella Baskets?)

    A raffle seems like it might be hard to pull off at a wedding. It might be easier on you to pick one or two items to have that everyone can have? Might even be close to the same price as the baskets, though obviously there wouldn't be the variety.

    I totally want to buy some Lacey's cookies and Larrupin sauce to have the wedding now that I think about it.

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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    They really are. I know it “sounds” bad, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve been to some that were totally money grubbing and that sucked, and then I’ve been to some that were amazing.

    Not too many places where you get dinner and entertainment for twenty bucks, and it goes to help your friends too. Win win. We had 250 people at ours and gave out $3500 in prizes.
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  • Sydnie
    Dedicated July 2019
    Sydnie ·
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    Larrupin goes good on everything!!! They sell Lacey's at Costco for a decent price. I love the flavors of Humboldt
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  • Calvin
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Calvin ·
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    I've been to a wedding with one. It is actually fun. I also understand some of the reasoning to having one. First it's fun for most guests as they have the possiabilty of winning some cash another thing that people who think it's kinda tacky don't realize is that it forces people to stay longer rather than leaving after the supper. The raffling usually happens at about 10:30-11:00pm. So your guest are not there just for the supper and take off. That happens at a lot of wedding I've been to 25%-40% leave after the supper. This encourages people to stay longer. What I find tacky are people that show up no cards, no gifts, no money and eat and leave.
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  • Calvin
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Calvin ·
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    It's not hard to pull off. Have a couple friends running it. Usually it's only run for the first hour or two that's it. You don't want it going for anything more than 2.5hrs. Anything more than that looks terrible/ desperate. You just doing it long enough for it to be fun for your guests. You put a sign up at the table. You can say 50/50 raffle but don't single people out when doing it like a pushy salesman at a hockey game or store.
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  • Calvin
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Calvin ·
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    You buy the small tickets like drink tickets but they have numbers on them. Two tickets have the same numbers. You keep one and put one in the ticket roller thing. Amazon sells those for 60-80.00 and a roll of tickets for 5-10.00 which is plenty lots. Have a few friends look after it for the first hour or two. It's easy and fun.
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  • Calvin
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Calvin ·
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    One more thing I would like to add. You're doing it for fun not to make a ton of money. At $2.00 per ticket figure out how many guests your going to have 80-300? Figure it out your not making a lot of money from it. Say for example you have 300 guests and lets say each one bought one ticket which is highly unlikely, you're only going to get $300 the other $300 goes to the winner. That may help with part of the cost with a DJ thats about it. Your doing it for fun and it keeps your guest there longer instead of leaving right after supper.
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  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    A raffle at a baby shower is rude too. Guests should never have to open their wallets for anything that any event where you are the host or the guest of honor.

    If you love the baskets so much, put some together that would individually appeal to each of your bridesmaids and/or your parents.
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