Irresponsible Sister

Have they tried getting the dress dry cleaned? I got red wine on my very white wedding dress at my first wedding and the dry cleaner I used got the stain out with no issues.

Is she an adult? She needs to pay for it to be cleaned or get a new one. I also worry about my sister as a bridesmaid. I told her once when to get her dress. I'll remind her one more time near the due date. If she doesn't get it she won't be in the wedding.

I’d see what the stain is like first. It can likely be removed with dry cleaning. But no need to stress about that.

Family problems get so so sticky. You really have to make the call you can live with, at the end of the day. Your relationship with your sister exists outside of the wedding too. Just keep that in mind before deciding anything.



That being said... if it was me and my sister, I would be asking her to attend as a guest. Even if she throws another tantrum, she is already being extremely difficult and piling on unnecessary problems you do not need to be dealing with. If she cannot get the stain out and also cannot get a new bridesmaids dress before the wedding then your reasons simply became a lot more practical for asking her to step down. This is a problem of her own making and there are consequences to her actions.

From your description of her behavior, she might throw a fit even if you leave her in the bridal party. She seems used to getting her way after making a stink. Giving in to her because you don't want to deal with it is completely understandable but it also reinforces that she can have what she wants if she is difficult enough (just like with screaming todlers).

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best! I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

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She is twenty-three. I know she will say she can't pay for it because she doesn't have money. She is currently on maternity leave without pay since the company she works for don't offer paid maternity leave for part-time workers and her husband took two weeks off unpaid as well.

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I doubt it. She will say she doesn't have the money. Neither her or her husband have worked for a couple weeks because she just had a baby and her job doesn't offer paid maternity leave since she is only part-time and her husband took two weeks unpaid leave from work as well.

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I plan on visiting with her this weekend to see the dress. I'm hoping it isn't too bad. I know a lot of stains don't come out if they have been dried in the dryer and knowing her she probably washed it thinking it would just come out then threw it in the dryer without looking.

Take it to a cleaner. Some often have the correct solutions for a lot of stains. Otherwise, does not matter how she does it ( second hand dress?) She gets a dress by the wedding, without you buying it, and she is in. No dress, she is a guest.

View Quoted Comment That would be horrible. Wishing you the best and hope it all works out!

Just let her figure it out. If she doesn't have a dress for your wedding then she's no in your wedding. Easy peasy and you don't have to stress.