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Savvy October 2020

Involving coworkers

Kristin, on July 1, 2019 at 12:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 8

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Hey everyone, would love some advice! Long story short, I want to involve my (soon to be former) coworkers in our celebrations. I'm leaving them soon for a new and exciting job, but they do mean a lot to me after nearly 5 years, and they've witnessed every stage of our relationship!I can't invite them all to the wedding. Even inviting the ones I'm closest to would probably put us over the top (especially with plus 1s). I thought of inviting the ladies to my bridal shower, but not sure how I could reciprocate with the men. How are y'all choosing to involve coworkers without inviting them to your ceremony or reception? Appreciate any thoughts!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on July 1, 2019 at 2:44 PM

Master August 2019
Allie · on July 1, 2019 at 12:27 PM
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I'm just not involving them because there just isn't a good way to do it. Usually you don't invite people to your shower that aren't invited to the wedding. I have seen other bride's coworkers throwing them a work shower to celebrate so that might be an option if one of your coworkers wants to throw you a shower.
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Savvy October 2020
Kristin · on July 1, 2019 at 12:30 PM
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That's a good point! I guess I just wanted to be able to invite them to something, since I know they would appreciate the gesture.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 1, 2019 at 12:32 PM
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Feels like it would be better to do something with them separately
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Master August 2019
Allie · on July 1, 2019 at 12:33 PM
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You could invite them to a special lunch, but you would have to host it. It would be better if one of your coworkers asked everyone to chip in and throw a little cake and punch party/shower.
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Super August 2020
Kimberly · on July 1, 2019 at 2:27 PM
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Wish I could help you more on this as I'm inviting all my coworkers and bosses to my wedding, but we're a smaller office. I think just taking them aside and communicating with them and maybe getting them together over lunch to explain your expectations on their involvement.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on July 1, 2019 at 2:28 PM
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I’m not sure if I’m understanding correctly but please don’t invite people to your shower (or any pre-wedding events) if you aren’t going to invite them to the wedding!
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on July 1, 2019 at 2:41 PM
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I agree with others who said that inviting people to a shower (where gifts are expected) but not inviting them to the wedding (the whole reason for the shower) is not a good way to "involve" anyone.
If you feel this strongly about treating your coworkers to something, invite them all to lunch (but don't make it wedding related; it's just a nice goodbye lunch).
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on July 1, 2019 at 2:44 PM
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I would cater in a special lunch for the office (places like chipotle or subway do catering that is pretty fairly priced) before you go for everyone. If they aren't invited to the wedding, you don't want to invite them to any pre-wedding parties, as that could cause confusion or hurt feelings.
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