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Rickeia
Beginner October 2021

Inviting to the Wedding

Rickeia, on November 10, 2019 at 9:44 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11
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So, our families have decided to start sending us “the list” of everyone who needs to come. Random cousins, aunts we haven’t seen in years. All that.

I have no qualms about telling my mom no. They can come to like a wedding shower or something, not the wedding. My question mainly is, how rude is this considered? Lots of people are telling me to just invite them and deal with it, but I don’t want people I haven’t seen or spoken to in years at my wedding. I also don’t want my mom upset cause some of them are people that she may or may not be like somewhat close to... Am I overthinking this?

background: I live in MD with my Fiancé. We are getting married in TN, so already making it harder by planning so far away. I want to keep it smaller than I normally would have because we intend to have a reception in MD as well because most of our friends won’t be able to make the trip down.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Traci, on December 15, 2019 at 2:19 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It is rude to invite people to showers and things like that if they aren't invited to the wedding. You should only invite people to those things if they are also invited to the wedding. If you don't want to invite them to the wedding then don't. You aren't obligated to invite everyone to your wedding.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I agree with PP. if you don’t invite someone to the wedding don’t invite them to any other wedding events because it’s rude. Have the wedding you want with the people you want. Don’t let family dictate who to invite.
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  • Stefanie
    Devoted December 2019
    Stefanie ·
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    I wouldn’t invite them anywhere and talk to my mom about it, she would have to understand
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You’re not obligated to invite anyone to your wedding, but you don’t get to invite them to bring you a gift at a shower either.
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  • Emily
    Super April 2020
    Emily ·
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    I had this issue. I sucked it up and invited some people but not all. I didn’t want to upset my mom but didn’t want to invite people I didn’t know, so I cut the ones I’ve never met.
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  • Rickeia
    Beginner October 2021
    Rickeia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I have a feeling this is where I'm gonna end up. Just trying to see if there were other options out there that wouldn't hurt feelings since we are trying to keep the actual wedding smaller.

    I debated having a bigger reception and inviting them there, but I don't know if that would work either.

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  • Rickeia
    Beginner October 2021
    Rickeia ·
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    Also, I appreciate all the responses!
    Seriously saves me from a debacle. Gotta love that family drama. Smiley xd

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  • Natalie
    Devoted January 2022
    Natalie ·
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    The reason for not inviting them to pre-wedding events, if they're not invited to the wedding, is because they would be expected to bring a gift for a wedding they're not invited to. Even if you say no gifts, traditionally many people consider bridal showers to be primarily gift-giving events for the bride, whereas the reception is an event to thank the guests. Just FYI so you understand the reasoning behind why it's considered rude.

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  • Megan
    Expert November 2022
    Megan ·
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    I'm in a similar situation, I live in Ohio but want to do a smaller beach wedding in one of the Carolinas, but want to keep it under 30-40 people so just parents, grandparents and siblings, also to help make the planning a little easier. Then hold a reception back here for everyone else, and show pictures and short videos from the ceremony. I worry it would be rude to only invite people to shower and reception.
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  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
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    Don't invite them to anything. If they're not good or close enough to be at the wedding, they're not good or close enough to be asked to give a gift.

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  • Traci
    Devoted October 2021
    Traci ·
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    NONONONONONONONONONONONONONON

    tenor.gif

    This is YOUR wedding. You have the power. No else! That is RUDE for people to add people on the list.

    These people need to

    tenor.gif


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