Inviting Sos of friends?

Anyone in a relationship gets an invitation for two.

Definitely invite him! I would feel awkward going to a wedding without my SO. I would either not go or leave early.

Yes I think you should have included her bf in the count from the beginning. They’ve been dating for over two years, and you have met him before - I think it’s weird not to invite him.

Couples are social units and should not be divided. You need to let your friend know that you're sorry and of course she can being her bf. As far as kids, it's considered really rude to set an arbitrary age, because that can divide families (again social units- what if a family has an 8 yo and a 10 yo?) you either say 18 and up or invite kids in circles (immediate family, family, friends, etc.)

I guess it's more of a matter of space and budget for me. If the family had a child that was older and younger, then I invited both children.

I've been invited to weddings where my FH wasn't (at the time we weren't engaged) and I never felt the couple was rude to me. I understood weddings are expensive and you can't accommodate everyone.

This is a friendship ending move IMO. If my relationship is not seen by you as something of importance, enough so that you would choose not to invite my SO to your wedding, you don’t really care enough about me for me to still be friends with you.

Almost 4 years ago, H was invited to a wedding of a mutual friend. We had been dating 6 months but this couple only invited couples who were married, engaged, or living together. We had chosen to postpone living together because I had a 1 year old that I wanted him to know well first. We weren’t engaged yet because I told him I wouldn’t agree to marry him before I got the opportunity to live with him. Eventually this couple decided to include me due to enough declines, we went, gave them a nice gift, and then essentially never hung out with them again. It was very hurtful that someone judged the seriousness of our relationship based on our living arrangements, even though they knew the situation.

They have been dating for more than two years. He should have been invited in the first place.

You should have invited him. Significant others should always be invited. It doesn't matter how well you know them. One of the only wedding invites I ever declined was the one where my husband, then boyfriend, wasn't invited. Easiest decline ever.

Would you go to a wedding without your FH?

The fact that other people were rude by excluding your FH from your invitation doesn't give you a pass to be rude by excluding an established SO.

Oh heck no. You need to invite all SO's. Anyone that identifies as being in a relationship needs to be invited with their SO.

If someone is in a relationship (married, engaged, or dating for any length of time), they should both be invited by name. They are a social unit and it is rude as all get out to split a social unit. Without a doubt, you should have included her bf from the very beginning. I would correct it immediately by letting her know that of course her bf is invited.

I would not invite extra kids later after your RSVPs come back and you realize you have a few seats available. For one, you invited only the parents of these families, and in order to commit to attending your wedding, those parents have had to secure childcare for the duration of the event. Inviting a family's kids at the last minute would involve the changing of plans and schedules for the parents, the kids, and the childcare providers who thought they would be getting paid and turned down plans with their friends to be available to babysit. Personally, I think it's inconsiderate to change the plan on a family that has gone to so much trouble to make arrangements for the parents to be able to attend your event. The other reason I wouldn't invite kids last minute is what if you only have enough seats open up to be able to invite the kids of some families that are not related to you, but not others? It's okay to invite kids in circles, such as only inviting the kids who are related to you, but not okay not to invite the kids of all the people in the same social circle or kevel of closeness to you.

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Agree with this too.

Thanks all for your input

SOs are not plus ones. Plus ones are what you give your single friends so they can bring someone and not feel awkward sitting at a table with 7 people they’ve never met before your wedding. SOs should be invited by name from the get go. The kid thing is up to you- the arbitrary age cutoff is really awkward though. I’m not sure how you would distinguish this without confusing or upsetting people, because it’s not something you can even justify well to people with kids only under 10 if you’re inviting families with a mix of kids over & under your “cutoff”

You do what you gotta do, but if she's a good friend, I would go to great lengths to make space for him. Maybe you don't know him now, but this is an opportunity to make friends with someone who is important to your friend. You may be going to their wedding someday!

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Nikki has a good point. Your arbitrary age cut off may split up families, making one sibling a guest and the other not. The kids are old enough to feel excluded and be hurt at that age.

My FH was invited to a college buddy's wedding and didn't get a plus one, so I had to stay at home. He left very early because, well, he missed me and wasn't having fun dancing without me! I felt kind of left out. We are now inviting them to our wedding, and I'm while I'm not *resentful* of it, ehh. I'm definitely not going to go out of my way to give them any face time!

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See? Not inviting SO's ruins relationships.

You need to invite the boyfriend. A friend of mine got married last year. I was living with my fiancé and we were engaged. It was an out of town wedding and they didn’t invite him. I didn’t go because it would have been no fun traveling out of state for a wedding he couldn’t go to. And our friendship ended, not on bad terms but just drifted apart because they were upset I didn’t go to their wedding and I was upset they didn’t invite my fiancé. Invite the boyfriend. It’s only one more person.