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Rachel
Just Said Yes September 2021

Inviting someone just a couple weeks before?

Rachel, on August 31, 2021 at 1:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

We're a little less than 3 weeks out and my fiancé now wants to add a friend and I don't think theres a proper way to do that. It would have to be a verbal invite and that looks so bad. This guy was on his bachelor party trip. I told him not to invite people not invited to the wedding but he thought guys won't care. This guy hasn't said anything to him but someone else in the group I guess said something about it so now he feels bad. He's not as close with him as the other friends in the group and we're having a small wedding (65ish guests) so I said he should understand. People can't expect to be owed an invite especially for a small wedding. It's not like we invited 200 ppl and left him out. I think it's better to let it go, stick with who you invited from the beginning and if it ever comes up just explain we had a small wedding at a restaurant and couldn't invite everyone we're friends with.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Hanna, on August 31, 2021 at 10:05 PM
  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Do you think that his friend would be offended by being invited last minute? If not then I would let him invite him, I doubt 1 person would make or break your wedding. I know people say its "rude" but I personally know that none of my friends would be offended if I told them a few weeks before the wedding. Especially if they aren't close. If he wants him there then I wouldn't have a problem with my husband inviting someone last minute. But I also don't care too much about what others call wedding etiquette.

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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Omg I swear I had to look to make sure I didn’t write this! I’m going through the exact same thing except our wedding is next year and we haven’t finalized the guest list. My fiancé wants to invite some guys to his Bach party and not the wedding because he just hung out with them at his friends Bach party. I said no you can’t do that! I agree with you in your situation that he needs to leave him off the list. No invite. If they didn’t make the original guest list, then they are not close enough to “just be added” later on. They should understand. And they’ll get over it haha
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    Is your only hang up about inviting him that it "looks bad" to invite him verbally?

    If so, I would let your husband invite him.

    That said, you were correct - he should not have invited someone to his bachelor party that was not invited to the wedding. THAT looks bad.

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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    I agree, he shouldn't have invited this guy to the bach, but it's a bit too late now. When is your head count due to vendors? If it's before then, I would just go ahead and invite him. Maybe you can scan the invite and your FH can email it to him so it's not 100% verbal.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Yep you've already offended this guy by asking him to a pre-wedding event without an invitation to the main event. A sincere personal apology and belated invitation is in order. He may not go, but at least you will have tried to make amends to him.

    General note, for people who think it's not a big deal to invite someone to engagement, bachelorettes, bachelors or showers and then not provide an invitation to the main event, this is the risk you take. It's against etiquette because there's a risk of hurting someone's feelings. No-one wants to do that.

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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Honestly some people love weddings so much that they don't care if they are a last minute invite. I had a girl from my work who wasn't invited to the wedding come to my Bachelorette party, my Bach was the weekend before the wedding. She kept asking if she could be invited, the week of the wedding we had 2 declines so I figured since she clearly didn't mind being a last minute invite that I would invite her. She was more than happy that I let her come. But I agree with you, if someone invited me the last minute I'd be like hell na, I'm not going to come be a place filler for you so food doesn't get wasted on your dime. But thats just me, not everyone sees it that way.
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  • T
    Dedicated October 2021
    Tammy ·
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    Simple solution have him call him and just say hey we noticed you haven't rsvp'd yet was wondering if we could get you to do that as we need finale numbers asap. When he says he never received I vote them give him the website info....
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    This is a great solution because it will cover up your mistake! Nobody should be invited to a bachelor party but not the wedding...

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