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Just Said Yes November 2021

Inviting someone i really don’t want to...

Kheira, on February 3, 2020 at 9:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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So my FH has a close family friend that he wants to be at the wedding... I have no problem with this! In fact I want him there too, he’s always been very respectful and nice... the problem is his wife. She is horrible, anytime she’s been in our house she has been rude to me have me dirty looks and has made me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I tried to be the bigger person but I’m past that now... I don’t want her anywhere near me especially not on our big day and especially since she hasn’t been a part of or allowed her husband to be a part of our lives in the last 3 years. I don’t know what to do we want him there (even tho he hasn’t been a great friend to my FH recently) but I DO NOT WANT HER THERE or to feel uncomfortable on my big day... ANY ADVICE IS MUCH APPRECIATED❤️

12 Comments

Latest activity by Tanyia, on February 6, 2020 at 9:57 PM
  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    They’re a social unit. You want one, you get the other, period.
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  • D
    Dedicated July 2020
    D ·
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    I personally would not invite them. Obviously you can’t invite one half of a whole. Sadly it may drive a bit of a wedge in your friendship with him. But, if you can make peace with that then you will have one less thing to worry about on your wedding day. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, I know it’s not an easy situation.
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  • Emily
    Devoted May 2021
    Emily ·
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    Yeah.. I agree with PP. You can’t invite the husband without the wife.. unfortunately. I wish I had that option for some of my guests too


    But it would be like if someone invited my FH to a wedding but not me. He wouldn’t go because I wasn’t invited and we would be pretty upset about it
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I agree with this and it sounds to me like he is not being a great friend either and he chose to let her remove himself from your friendship. I would not let me FH talk me out of being friends with someone unless they are toxic or harmful to me or him. I would not invite either but ask your FH first how he feels about this. If you choose to invite them I would have a talk to her and ask why she has an issue with you. Maybe there is a misunderstanding or maybe she is just a rude person.

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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Yes, I agree with Kristen. There's a multitude of reasons why your friend's wife may be behaving this way. Could be jealousy, could be distaste for your relationship? Maybe something hidden in the shadows? Who knows! But you can't break up the unit, so it's either invite them both or don't invite them at all. But definitely run it by your fiance and see what he thinks.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    You can't invite one and not the other. I'd kill her with kindness and mail an invite. In all honesty, you'll probably talk to them a total of 10 minutes over the course of the day. It won't matter in the grand scheme of things.

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    They come as a package. If you invite 1, you have to invite the other one. You probably won't have much interaction with her anyway just keep your focus on having the best day ever!

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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    If the husband hasn't been great either, then I would use this as an out. You can't invite one without the other. So the best solution is to not invite them at all.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I invited my bridesmaid (obviously) and gave her a plus one. She has a boyfriend, but he is overseas currently. I assumed [hoped] she would invite a sorority sister of ours. Any sorority sister would have been fine. But she chose to bring her least likable friend she has that I met once in college. The kind of person who makes you cringe when they walk thru the door and tries to one up you with everything. I'm just crossing my fingers this girl doesn't stand up in the middle of the ceremony to tell us all how she did things at her first wedding, and how she'll do something different at her next wedding.
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    I feel your pain with this. I did not want my husband's friends girlfriend at my wedding because she was a fake friend to me and extremely narcissistic, Insecure, Jealous, Envious, Spiteful, Bitter, Hateful and Selfish. I had no choice but to invite her because I wanted my husbands friend to be their.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Kheira ·
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    Thank you ladies this helps A LOT... thinking we’re just gonna skip out on sending their invite... it’s our day and I feel like she would be the type to show up in a white dress just to spite me! I appreciate you all ❤️
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  • Tanyia
    Expert February 2020
    Tanyia ·
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    I wouldn't invite either. Its undue stress and there's been distant/distance for 3 years. Nope, no thanks. Let them stay where they are.

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