My daughter wants a small wedding (50 people). I (her mom) am from a giant family. My 6 siblings all have adult children (some with spouses of their own.) The headcount on my family alone with 1st cousins is 50. Two of my sisters have 5 adult children each. Add in spouses/fiances of 1st cousins and were's over 55 for immediate family on the brides side (her dad's side makes up 5 of them). My daughter's fiancés family is tiny. Literally 6 family members total. With friends and +1's, he'll have 16-20 people including friends MAX. Add 15 friends to BRIDES side and we are at 70 MINIMUM. I've gotta trim 40 people.
She is closer to some cousins, but it's a once-ever-few-years sort of relationship due to distance. Is it rude to send each of my siblings an invite with their name and a +2? I would preface it with a phone conversation explaining the intimate nature. I know my siblings- they'd leave the dis-interested spouses behind and bring the kids who are most interested.
We just came from a wedding where everyone was invited, and the 2 really large families, (with all their significant others) dominated the venue and it seemed more like a one sided family reunion. The brides family took one table - our family took 4. The 2 largest families are really close, and dominated the dance floor - while everyone else felt like reunion crashers. My daughter doesn't want a repeat of this.
No matter how I slice it, it seems wrong. Any suggestions would really help.