Inviting some but not all adult children of family friends?

We're actually in a similar boat....

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My mother's advice is "all or none". If you invite one uncle, you must invite all uncles. If you invite one cousin, you must invite all cousins. Did I want to? Nope. But I did, since that is what she insisted was the proper etiquette.

Since they are family friends I see nothing wrong with only inviting the ones you are close to. We are inviting a few parents of friends we are close to but not all the siblings. I personally wouldn't expect an invite to one of my sisters friends weddings just because she was close to her growing up.

I saw this as an all or none situation when we were making our guest list. When we were cutting some the adult children did not "make the cut" but if we invited one adult child we invited all of them.

@Fall yea, if it was a case of just one more sibling (plus their guest) I would invite them without hesitation to avoid just that happening. It's just that each of these families has 4 children, so with SOs/plus ones that's an additional 16 people.

I would say you don't split families. @Fall Bride gives a good example of how it's perceived.

I don't see this an all or none situation. People typically invite some friends but not others to wedding. People closer to you get invited, others do not.

It's done all the time and there is nothing wrong with it. You are inviting a childhood friend and their parents who also knew yours. You are not obligated to invite the siblings you were not close to.

If they are all adults I don't see anything wrong with just invitation the ones you are close to but do they have family/kids. They should at least get a plus one.

I invited only people who we spoke with- or was extremely important to our family- so my mom's sister- I invited her and her husband- but I didn't invite their brother- who at this point is 75. Sorry not sorry.

I'm sure his feelings were hurt- and I feel bad- but I literally couldn't and did not want to invite everyone- we kept it as small as we could- and honestly- it was bigger than I wanted.

Thanks guys! It's just a weird situation. I don't see it so much as "don't split families" in the traditional sense because like OGA said, that seems to apply more to younger children. These are all adults out of college. I think it's fine, I'll probably move forward with it. Glad to know I'm not alone in being confused about this situation!

I don't see it as splitting families, as these are all adults in their own household. I would only invite who you are close to. Look at it like this, you're inviting guests who just happen to be related, you're not inviting them BECAUSE they're related. Make sense?

They're family friends, not relatives, so you don't have to do all-or-none, especially since they're adults. If they live with each other then things might get a little complicated, but otherwise nah