Inviting siblings in laws to the wedding, Yes or no?

There is no reason they need to be invited especially because you don't even like them.

There's no etiquette rule that says you have to invite the inlaws. I wouldn't even think to do that, honestly.

Wait, so these are your brother's in-laws. As in the brothers to your brother's spouse?

Yeah... you absolutely do NOT have to invite them, its not impolite to not want them there regardless of how you feel about them. They aren't your in-laws and I would never ever expect to have to invite people with whom the connection is very far (for instance, even though she's very kind, I would never expect to have to invite my brother's mother-in-law to my wedding... cause she's just a nice lady in my world, not related in any way, even by law).

However, since they were also horrible people to you at your brother's wedding? You are absolutely not required to ever have anyone at your wedding who makes you feel less than. Ever. You're not being a bridezilla, you're setting boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that.

So of course you have to invite your brother's spouse but there's no etiquette anywhere saying you have to invite his spouse's family. That's silly, and you're not a bridezilla.

Full disclosure - I did invite my SIL's parents to our wedding - primarily so that she and my brother had someone with whom to leave my nephew (11 months) while everyone got ready, since they were both in the wedding. I certainly didn't invite her brother though!

Having said that, there is no reason to invite your sibling's in-laws to your wedding.

You need to tell your parents that you do not want their money, because they are already trying to control things - it's only going to get worse from here.

Yeah definitely no need to invite them. Even if you liked them, they're distant enough that they aren't someone you'd invite unless you actually wanted to, and it definitely doesn't sound like you want to. You're absolutely right to put your foot down here. I'd tell your parents that you're simply not willing to put money towards people you have no obligation to invite and who were cruel to you. If they decide not to give you the money, so be it.

IF you decide to still take their money for the wedding, 100% lay out ground rules about what decisions the money entitles them to be involved in and what decisions you and your spouse will be making on your own going forward. Money always comes with strings, and if they're already making demands almost a year and a half away from your wedding, it'll only intensify as the day gets closer.

You don't have a personal relationship with them other than them talking $%^& about you behind your back? Oh hell no.

A piece of advice someone once told me about wedding guest lists is that if they're not a "heck yes" then they're a "heck no". It's your wedding and even though your parents are helping pay, it's you and your fiancé who have the final say. If you also haven't seen them since your brother's wedding, I would definitely say no. If the only reason your parents want you to invite them is to "be nice' then that's not a good enough reason. It doesn't make sense either if your brother hasn't even asked. Trust your instincts, if you don't want them there then put your foot down and say no. It's one day, they shouldn't be offended.

Thank you everyone. Yes of course my sister in law will be invited, we don't have a good relationship but i understand she is my sister in law.

I dont know how to get my parents to understand. They are making me feel like the bad person, my mom keeps telling me it was 6 years ago and to let it go and be the bigger person and invite them. I hate that saying so much. I struggle with mental health and she knows that, and she makes me feel wrong for putting my feelings and emotions first even on my wedding day.

I'm sorry, but if they do not like you and you do not favor them either then there's really no reason to have them at your wedding to begin with. It may be the "polite" thing to do, but at the end of the day it's your wedding and it's not what about what other people think or want.

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!!! Yes girl

You invite who you want with you on your special day! Nobody is entitled to your wedding!! You put that foot down girl!

Your wedding is your day and it is a PRIVILEGE to be apart of it. Do not feel ashamed for not inviting them. You want your wedding as stress free as possible and if not inviting certain people is what it takes, so be it.

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Ayeee!! Yassss

I think it's a pretty old tradition I know my parents did it at their wedding. It is completely up to you. For us my sister in law has 6 siblings who I met once at their wedding(all married) that would be way too many extra guests to invite who don't really have a relationship with but her parents are invited. My fiancee's sister in law we spend a lot of time with her family so her brother and parents are invited. Maybe you come up with a compromise that makes you, your partner, and your parents happy. Best of luck to you.

Invite whomever you cannot imagine the day without. People such as your spouse’s in laws or your siblings’ in laws whom you have no relationship with and anyone else you are expected to include out of obligation to make others happy do not belong on the guest list. If someone wants to arrange a family reunion picnic at another time not on your dime and not related to your wedding, they are free to do so, and everyone attending can contribute. But your wedding is not that occasion. Stand your ground and set and maintain boundaries with consequences for these people pressuring you. If you don’t nip this in the bud now, they will continue the behavior after the wedding with other aspects of your lives that are not their business: where you live and work, where and you spend holidays, how future children are raised, and the list goes on.

That’s too many degrees of separation. They are your SIBLING’S in-laws, not YOUR in-laws. You are not in the wrong and are right to tell mom and dad that you don’t want their money if they’re going to insist on them being invited.


I unfortunately had to compromise on my SIL’s MIL and her 2nd husband being invited to our wedding because she sort of formed a relationship with my FH and helped him in his job search some years ago, but when it came to my SIL’s SIL and husband? No sir. I put my foot down at that. No point in putting someone on the guest list that we would only see at birthday parties for my SIL’s daughter.