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March 2020

Inviting people you don’t like...

Aaliyah, on February 19, 2020 at 4:59 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13

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Not my wedding but it’s my sister’s wedding. Long story short, my sister didn’t invite our uncle’s longtime girlfriend because they (my sister and uncle’s gf) do NOT like each other. Whenever we have family functions they don’t even speak! My uncle is hurt and feels like it is disrespectful but his gf has disrespected my sister for YEARS. She has even disrespected our mother! Who invites people they don’t like to their wedding?!?! I know it is a tradition to invite someone’s significant other, but (excuse my language) FORGET the tradition. I would absolutely not invite someone’s significant other if I knew we did not like each other and if I knew my loved one was being treated like CRAP by their significant other. Was my sister wrong for not inviting our uncle’s gf?

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Fmv, on February 21, 2020 at 11:25 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 19, 2020 at 5:04 PM
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That's tough. Officially yes but I see that perspective. She's been disrespecting your family. Truthfully if I hated someone I wouldn't go to their wedding. Maybe the uncle can ask the aunt to make peace? My future SIL invited her former stepmim and she didn't care for her.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 19, 2020 at 5:10 PM
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I side with your sister. If I’ve had someone disrespect me and my family then why would I want them there on one of my happiest days?
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on February 19, 2020 at 5:15 PM
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Not speaking and actually disrespecting someone are very different things. Unless someone was physically or emotionally abusive to me or my family, I would invite them with their significant other.
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Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on February 19, 2020 at 5:28 PM
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My family is "encouraging" me to invite my ex best friend who I've basically cut contact with to my wedding because her family is very close to ours and will be invited. I originally thought the very same. I decided to invite the family as a whole and if she comes, that's up to her. It sucks but I think it just depends...
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Champion November 2016
LB · on February 19, 2020 at 5:32 PM
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My FILs girlfriend is a horrible person and actively hates me and tries to put me down. But I'm an adult and am bigger than that bs. She was invited to our wedding (although security did have a copy of her picture lol).
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on February 19, 2020 at 7:17 PM
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Your sister was NOT wrong at all for not inviting her. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
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Master 0000
Judith · on February 19, 2020 at 8:00 PM
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That is the he kind of problem best solved when girlfriend is invited, pleasing uncle. And then girlfriend has a conflict, and has uncle attend alone. So you can show respect for uncle, you and your SO are welcome . But bride and GF never have deal with each other. Uncle knows everyone, so he breathes a sigh of relief and happily comes alone.
Diplomacy.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on February 19, 2020 at 11:24 PM
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Why would gf even want to come? I would try to worm my way out if I was her. And your sister should be able to invite people she likes. Uncle has no say. He may end up staying home
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VIP October 2020
Ingrid · on February 19, 2020 at 11:52 PM
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It's her wedding she can invite or not invite anyone she wants. She just has to be aware of the fallout from her decision. I don't make choices based on traditions, I do what's best for me and those connected to me.
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March 2020
Aaliyah · on February 20, 2020 at 10:51 AM
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So I see some of you have said that you have invited people you don’t care for to your wedding. But that couldn’t be me! Call it how you want but I don’t care, I would never invite someone I don’t like to my wedding. They don’t deserve to participate PERIOD. No reason to waste my money on them.
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Dedicated June 2021
Christine · on February 21, 2020 at 9:36 AM
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If people are a couple, you either invite both or neither. It's basic etiquette. How would you feel if someone invited your FH to a party and not you? I mean, yeah, even if she's a jerk, she comes with your uncle as a package. And if she hates your sister, as you say she does, she just won't attend.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on February 21, 2020 at 11:21 AM
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Your uncle’s girlfriend sounds incredibly disrespectful and it sounds like a bad relationship between your family and his girlfriend. I wouldn’t feel bad about it - speaking of purely etiquette, yes it was wrong. However this person sounds horrible, and I would throw etiquete out the window with her lol and not invite her.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on February 21, 2020 at 11:25 AM
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Who cares about the rules. Its her wedding. She has to be comfortable on the wedding day. She should be able to invite anyone she wants, and not invite the people she does not
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