Inviting Guests You Know Can't Come

I think it's a nice gesture to send an invitation so that they feel welcome and included. If you send them a save the date, you should definitely sent an invitation, but if not, it's really up to your judgement.

Thanks! That's a good reminder about Save the Dates. We did send STDs to all but the one aunt and her husband (per request of my FMIL) so it probably makes sense to follow up with an invite. I wasn't sure if there was any etiquette around getting an early, but unofficial, "no" from a guest after sending them an STD. I do think it probably makes sense to follow up with an invite regardless. I just hope they do their official RSVP right away so we can send out a second round of invites to the extra people on our list without too much delay.

Thanks! This was my plan all along, but after chatting with my FMIL I was beginning to second guess myself. I know I still want to invite them and it feels like the right thing to do, so I'm going to send them all invites anyway.

I think it's nice to still send an invite! I'm planning on doing this for people who I know can't come, but want them to feel thought of.

Exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for your perspective!

I would just say of you invite them, make sure you have room just in case it turns out that they can come. Those reasons all sound ironclad, but you never know! Events can be cancelled or rescheduled, situations can change, so flexibility with final numbers is good. I wouldn't invite them if it's going to cause a problem with your limits. Otherwise, it is a nice gesture, and I don't think it will put more pressure on them to say yes.

We still invited people we knew wouldn't be able to come. I still wanted them to know that we were thinking of them & they mean a lot to us.

We had this situation with a friend! She is in medical school and her white coat ceremony is the same day as the wedding, and we are in Ohio while she is in Tennessee! She let us know as soon as she got her save the date, so before I ordered invites, I confirmed that the date didn't change, and if it did to let me know, as she would be welcome to come! She told us not to send an invite since she knew 100% she could not come!

Yea space is definitely not an issue. We were planning on inviting 80 and hoping to get at least 60, but our venue can hold 120 people. Our list with backup people we'd realistically invite is 95, and that would be only if others officially RSVP'd "no" first. We're hoping to end up with between 60-80 guests total when all is said and done.

A handful of our guests would need to fly to our wedding, so I'm thinking some of those may be less likely to attend with all of the fuss around coronavirus. I'm hoping it calms down by May, but the wedding isn't that far away. Very few of our guests are in their 70s or older.

Yes, my friend getting married in California is in a similar position. She's graduating from nursing school the week before and getting married the same day as us to simplify travel for all of her family, so they can fly out there once and stay a couple weeks and do both events in one trip.

I sent invites to a number of my own family who I'm 95% sure will not attend, and some I'm pretty won't be able to because of accessibility issues (our venue is on the 3rd floor of an older building without elevator access, and all our grandparents have mobility issues). I wanted them to know they were welcome and feel included, even though I know they aren't likely to attend.

That's so smart of her to do logistically too!