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Devoted February 2020

Inviting guests to renew vows during cocktail hour

Christina, on January 11, 2019 at 12:07 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 13

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So I had this idea, but I wasn't sure if it was impractical or inappropriate.

I have a few family members that eloped and never got to do the whole wedding thing. I thought it might be nice if we invite married guests to have mini vow renewals with our officiant at some point after the ceremony.

I was thinking during cocktail hour while we're doing family photos. This would all be dependent on if there is time and of the officiant would be willing. She's a friend who is officiating for free.

I thought we could make an announcement and somehow tei it in as a symbol of our own vows...

I've seen weddings where towards the end of the first dance, they invite other married couples to dance alongside the bride & groom as a symbol of their long, happy marriage ahead of them. This would be a similar symbolic gesture.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by JoAnn, on July 29, 2019 at 8:26 PM

Super September 2018
Kristen328 · on January 11, 2019 at 12:16 PM
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It sounds like a nice gesture but I would find it awkward as a guest.
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Champion November 2016
LB · on January 11, 2019 at 12:17 PM
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This might be and UO but I think this is odd. Renewing vows, which is a very personal thing, is very different then just coming up for a "marriage dance". Plus, if you're taking pictures you wouldn't even be there to witness it...
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on January 11, 2019 at 12:22 PM
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I would find it odd. I would also think if someone was renewing their vows they would want to do it in front of their own family and friends, not a bunch of people they might not know.
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Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on January 11, 2019 at 12:25 PM
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I think that sounds very strange. I’d be very confused if I were your guest.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 11, 2019 at 12:33 PM
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If it were me, I wouldn't partake. One, I wouldn't know all the guests so it would feel odd (especially if some of my family and friends weren't there). Two, the day is about the bride and groom and I wouldn't want to take away from that.
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VIP April 2018
JustKidding · on January 11, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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I don't think it's appropriate. So, you would just let every married couple that wanted to go up and renew their vows? If I was a guest that did not know many people I would hate this. I didn't come to your wedding to watch a line of people renew their vows.
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Super August 2019
Jennifer · on January 11, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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Yeah it would be odd to ask them to randomly stand up and do it--- a vow renewal should be something special and meaningful and to ask them to do it randomly and in front of people they may not cherish could make them feel uncomfortable. I understand wanting to share in the day but it could diminish what you and your FH are celebrating.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on January 11, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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This also seems odd to me.
i have seen ceremonies where the officiant invites married couples to *remember* their vows, but that’s a very private audience member thing (where H And I would just hold hands and smile at eachother or something, as the officiant continued with the ceremony) . That I think is simple and sweet. But a full renewal of vows during cocktail hour is not something I’d partake in.
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Super November 2021
Arkilia · on January 11, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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Would they know ahead of time or would it just something announced? If they were surprised I would find this odd and I'd be confused as to what was happening and why.
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Devoted February 2020
Christina · on January 11, 2019 at 12:52 PM
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I didn't mean that this would be in front of everyone. I was thinking after the ceremony the officiant would make an announcement that anyone who wanted to renew their vows could come up, but the rest of the group was welcome to go to cocktail hour.

The consensus seems to be a resounding "Don't do it", so I'll keep that in mind. Again, this was just an idea and wanted a sounding board. Thanks for all your feedback!!
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Super August 2019
Tina · on January 11, 2019 at 1:04 PM
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I think its an incredibly sweet idea..maybe you can find another way to include the married couples. Like play a song to have all the married couples dance to?
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Devoted January 2019
S · on January 11, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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While it is a nice thought, I don't really like the idea. Maybe some of the people who eloped did so because they prefer privacy rather than a big audience. Not everyone who eloped feels that they missed out, since not everyone wants a big public wedding. Even if they like audiences, they might prefer the audience to be their own friends and family. Also, depending on people's religious bliefs or lack of beliefs, they may have different preferences about an officient (i.e., some people prefer a secular officiant, others prefer one that is affiliated with their specific religion, etc.)
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March 2020
JoAnn · on July 29, 2019 at 8:26 PM
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My daughter and fiancé are eloping in Sept. A Month later they are having a reception with Family & Friends. We know a lot of people will be disappointed that they weren’t able to witness the nuptials. So we thought at the reception she wanted to include a vow to her 8 year old step son. After that as a “surprise” ask everyone who is married to stand up and tell them if they will like to renew their vows to please stay standing to participate be renewing there vows along with the guests of honor.
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