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Beginner October 2021

Inviting Guests to Only Livestream

Gina, on April 4, 2021 at 7:45 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 2 5

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My fiancé and I have always wanted a small wedding but we both have fairly large extended families. We chose a guest list of about 40-50 people and chose a small, nontraditional venue that we could afford based on that amount. We only invited immediate families and grandparents in addition to our friends, and our wedding is across the country from my fiancé's grandparents so they will likely not be able to make it, so we want to set up a live stream. However, we're now getting pressure from both of our families to extend the live stream to people who weren't invited to come in person.

1. What's the best way to live stream your wedding? We were planning to set up a laptop and/or camera in the front of the room to film the ceremony and use Zola's compatibility with Zoom to put the link on our wedding website.

2. Is there a good way to go about inviting these guests only to the live stream? I feel weird about it because they weren't invited to the wedding in person. If this were a result of donwsizing the wedding for covid I think it'd be more understandable, but it feels weird to me to send an invite saying "hey you didn't make the cut." However, we are getting married on the east coast and the potential virtual guests are mostly in the midwest or west coast so there's a good chnce they wouldn't have been able to come out for an in person wedding anyway.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Gina, on April 4, 2021 at 8:15 PM

Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on April 4, 2021 at 9:34 AM
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Your instinct about inviting people just to the live stream is right. You shouldn't invite them, but if they reach out and ask, I think it would be fine for your in-laws to give them the livestream link
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Expert June 2021
· on April 4, 2021 at 2:04 PM
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Definitely in the same boat. Wedding is two months away and we’re keeping it small due to covid and rising cases. We will have around 46 people and we also want to livestream. The guest who we would send a livestream link were on our original list before covid but we made the decision to downsize before we sent out any save the dates or invites because I dreaded having to uninvite people. So they would have been at the wedding if it weren’t for covid but none of them know since we cut the list before any wedding info went out. Because of this pandemic there’s no clear cut etiquette rules on live-streaming and who to invite to it. Is it just the guest who decline your invite? Or those you intended to invite if things were different. I feel like so many of us are winging it and figuring it out. I do have coworkers who asked to view the livestream so I know sending it to them will be fine. I am just uncertain of the family members reactions like you. We would like them to know we are still thinking of them and want to share the day with them but will it be received that way? It’s so up in the air.
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Liz · on April 4, 2021 at 2:14 PM
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There’s an article on live-streaming services here. I’ve seen people on this forum say good things about lovestream..
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on April 4, 2021 at 3:28 PM
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I think live-streaming is the perfect solution for brides who had to cut back their guest list due to Covid, or for guests who are unable to attend in person for whatever reason. But I'm not sure how I feel about it for guests who were never supposed to be invited in the first place. If I received a link to watch someone's wedding via livestream that I was never supposed to be invited to in the first place (i.e. didn't make the cut to begin with), then I'd be pretty confused. I'd probably assume that I was only provided with the livestream link because the bride and groom wanted a gift from me. I would recommend only providing the livestream link to actual invited guests who can't be there in person, or to people who specifically ask you for the link.
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Beginner October 2021
Gina · on April 4, 2021 at 8:15 PM
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That's my hesitation as well. My mom is concerned about her family members whoa are older and not on social media so they may not know when we are getting married and won't know to ask for a link. My fiancé has a family email chain for half of his family so he's able to communicate and informally let people know our plans there (he emailed them all when we got engaged, for example) and they communicate frequently so his extended family heard about the wedding from family members who were invited and were able to ask about the live stream from there. I'm wondering if there's a way to do the same with my family and if it would be weird to send out an email or something about the wedding plans so that people who are interested in the link can ask, or if it would be better to just let them reach out.
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