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Just Said Yes May 2022

Inviting guests from a new job

Debra, on April 1, 2022 at 3:55 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10

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Sorry if this seems super convoluted, but I have been thinking on this a lot the last few months. In December I left my job with a company I had been with for years (12 years total, about 6 years with this contract). I had become super close with some of my former co-workers and had always planned on inviting them. The issue I am running into is that my new job is with the Contractor for the prior company I work for. This means that prior to me changing companies I had close working relationships with both sides (personal relationships with the contracted side). Our wedding is in about a month and I am unsure if I should invite co-workers from my current company, I don't want either side to feel comfortable. Our wedding is on a weekday afternoon so most of my current co-workers would probably only come to the Reception, but I don't want to make either side feel uncomfortable or forced. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Hgilbert, on April 2, 2022 at 12:06 AM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on April 1, 2022 at 6:50 AM
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In my opinion, the only co-workers you should invite are those you have a close personal relationship with outside of work. People that would remain friends with you even if you quit tomorrow and moved across the country. If anyone from your new company falls into that category, invite them. If not, I'd leave them off the list.
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Super May 2024
Fiona · on April 1, 2022 at 8:50 AM
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I know people on here before have said that if you hang around with people outside work and do things with them and they are friends that you would do these things with then invite them. If not, then don't
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Super March 2022
Candace · on April 1, 2022 at 9:04 AM
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I think they would all be honored to be invited and wouldn't care about being around other guests who are competitors. Weddings are the chance for people to just be human and enjoy celebrating you. It happens all the time - lawyers who fight in court end up having family BBQs together, same with politicians, athletes, salespeople, etc. Invite who you want to be there and the guests will be fine!
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on April 1, 2022 at 9:59 AM
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I wouldn't add any more people (coworkers or not) since you're only a month away. People will think they were last-minute B list additions. Invitations should be sent about 8 weeks before the wedding, not 4 weeks. You probably would not get their replies back in time to tell your caterer.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on April 1, 2022 at 10:48 AM
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I am in the same predicament. Was at my former job for 15 years only been at the new job for seven months, but my coworkers at my new job are so cool and we get along so well that I went ahead and invited several of them. I actually removed some people from my old job off my pre-invite list who I invited as a courtesy who I really didn’t want there anyway so it all worked out.
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on April 1, 2022 at 12:09 PM
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Do the people from one group know people in the other group outside of just names on emails or voices on calls? Unless people are social butterflies who mingle with everyone, people will tend to gravitate towards the people they know, so if there's really not much connection then I wouldn't be too concerned. That being said, I agree with PPs that unless you have a relationship with people outside the office, it may be best to leave them off the list.
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Beginner February 2023
Danny · on April 1, 2022 at 4:21 PM
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Ask both Co-workers
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on April 1, 2022 at 11:07 PM
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I was thinking about this very same thing but I have gotten close to ppl at my new job too and I have invited some from my other job as well I want to invite just 2 ppl I didn't know what to do
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on April 1, 2022 at 11:11 PM
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Part 2 I am only going to invite 1 from the new job and my first job is like my family so just do both of you can or a few from each of them
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Hgilbert · on April 2, 2022 at 12:06 AM
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I definitely think that you should invite who is going to bring you the most joy, whether that means your new or old co-workers. I don’t know what field of career you are in but if you want to have both sides come, invite them all! I am sure they all realize that there’s a good chance the other co-workers would be in attendance and if the specific person or people decide they don’t want to come because of that then so be it. But I definitely think you should invite everyone you want there despite there being some tension!
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