Inviting Friends to a non- hosted after party

I have no idea about etiquette, but I like the idea. We are having a very small ceremony and dinner too and then a party the next day for everyone else. If you don't want to go to those lengths and spend the money or time on a hosted party, I'd say a more casual drop in after party would be fine.

Maybe run it by some of your friends that you are close to and trust... just say that you guys will be celebrating at X bar afterwards and you'd love it if they came to hang out and celebrate too. If your friends seem into the idea, then make it official and spread the word. I would imagine if your friends are good people, that they'd understand why you are having such a small wedding but would be happy to celebrate and party after to see you and support you that way.

Etiquette may be against you on this, but personally I'm okay with it. My friend is actually doing something similar this summer--having a ceremony & reception with just family and super close friends that will end around 10, and then going to the bars downtown after. She's planning on passing out little card like things that say something like "Come meet us at X bar to celebrate our marriage". She ran it by me already because she was worried people would be offended. I told her absolutely not, everyone understands that weddings are expensive and you can never celebrate with everyone you want to.

Like Erin said, just run the idea by your friends first to gauge their reactions. If you have a super honest or blunt friend (like me haha) who will tell you the truth no matter what, go to her or him first, because a lot of people won't be honest about being offended.

Honestly, I don't think this is ok. It seems like you want to invite your friends to celebrate your marriage but not pay for anything for them. You have chosen a small, intimate wedding - that is your choice and means celebrating with less people. If you want to celebrate with your friends, you should invite them to the wedding and dinner.

To say well you're not good enough to come to my wedding or the dinner, but come celebrate after and pay for yourself - it's kind of rude. I know that's not your intent, but it could come across that way.

I would either invite them the wedding and dinner, and then an un-hosted after party, or at the very least just the after party but you pay for it.

An un-hosted after party is much more acceptable when everyone is invited to the wedding and has already been provided with food / drink etc.

Thanks for all the advice guys. I checked with a few close friends. And for the most part they said they wouldn't be offended. It maybe the older more traditional guest we should be concerned about

I am planning on going to X bar after the festivities are over, if anyone wants to join COME ON DOWN! but don't expect anything from me. Ok, maybe i'll be them a beer

You're fine.

Hmm...I'm not sure. I've been to plenty of after parties where the B&G are present but not hosting, but always as guest that attended the reception first. I think you're covered if you DON'T send invites to this portion of the evening, maybe just word of mouth / text?

We are doing a big ceremony and reception, and afterwards we are going to the hotel bar too. It's just gonna be word of mouth, no one HAS to go, though I'd like as many of my close friends and some family to go. The older, traditional guests probably won't even stick around to the very end of the reception, so I'd doubt they would show up to an after party?

But Mrs. VV and Shannon - the difference with this is she's not inviting them to the ceremony or reception. They are ONLY invited to an unhosted after party. It totally makes sense to go out for drinks after the wedding - by word of mouth - and everyone takes care of themselves. But it's not the same thing when the people aren't even invited to the wedding.

WE Had Planned That Too But Definitely Would Have Paid For It. It Didn't Happen Though Because The Hotel Bar Closed Too Early.