So some back story to my relationship with my dad. My parents got divorced when I was five, I did not know this till I was an adult but my dad wanted to give up all custody of me, but my mom begged him to keep joint custody. I didn't really see much of my dad till my half-sister was born when I was nine. I kind of was treated more like a toy for my sister than a real human, but none the less I always was trying to be the best I could be and get his attention. He would tell me he would come to an event of mine then just not show up frequently. It wasn't till I graduated college I finally hit the last straw. He didn't come to my graduation, didn't call, send a card, nothing. Instead he wrote a two paragraph Facebook post about how amazing, creative, and intelligent my 12 year old sister was for making a wallet out of duct tape. That was the point I decided I was done trying. I didn't talk to him for a couple of years but slowly started talking to him again at family parties and a few texts here and there. When my fiance and I got engaged, I called my dad for maybe the first time in four years and said "Dad I have exciting news!" he asked me to wait because he had to write a Facebook post to his friend, I had to wait for about 5 minutes for him to finish. My dad is not walking me down the aisle.
Now my FMIL is hosting the Rehearsal dinner, we are just inviting Bridal party, My fiance's parents and my mother (and S/O). My fiance's grandparents have all passed, my grandmother on my mom's side is 92 and I think coming out two days in a row will be too much for her, and my grandparents on my father's side are super judgmental (They made my cousin's bride cry on her wedding day). My fiance does not really want to invite his father because his parents are going through a recent divorce, but I've told him he should invite his dad. Now this is where my issue comes in because if I tell him to invite his father, I feel like I have to invite mine. I don't necessarily have an issue inviting my father, though I think he'll end up guilt tripping me the whole time, but he cannot drive. Which means another family member will need to drive him, which will most likely be my aunt and her husband (he lives 2 or so hours away, not fair to have a BP member pick him up and take him home). But my grandparents will be staying at my aunts which means they will probably come no matter if they're invited or not then my half-sister will most likely come with them. I know if all these family members from my side of the family start coming then my FMIL will want her family members there as well. I also do not want my dad's parents at the rehearsal. I feel awful for not inviting my father but I feel like it will be a disaster if I do. Has anyone else not invited their father? How did it go?
