Inviting difficult family members

This is definitely difficult. My sister was my maid of honor in my wedding, but throughout planning the wedding it kept get going back and forth as to whether she was even going to be at the wedding. She is a very difficult person to deal with. It almost would have been better had she just not been in/at the wedding. She caused a lot of drama while planning including the week of the wedding because she was refusing to wear the bridesmaid dress she bought because she didn't like how it looked. I ended up purchasing a new dress for her and she ended up burning he bottom of that dress with a cigarette. My sister-in-law used pins to find the burn marks on the bottom. The morning of the wedding she kept trying to convince my mom to pay for hair and makeup even though my mom paid for the alternations for the original bridesmaid dress and the new one I bought her. She then disappeared during most of my reception. It has been almost 5 months since the wedding and she is pretty much out of mine and my family's lives. It has been extremely difficult. That was my experience with a difficult sibling. I'm not sure why your fiance's relationship with two of his siblings is strained, but he is ultimately the one that has to make the call as to whether they are invited to the wedding. His mom might not like the decision, but she will get over it and if she doesn't then that shows him just how important he is to her. Whatever he decides you should stand behind him.

Would these two siblings want to attend? You could send them an invite and see what happens. If the feelings are mutual, they likely won’t attend. If that is true and they don’t attend - then mom is happy and you will appear to be on the high road. Family drama is hard though ! I have an issue with a cousin and didn’t invite any cousins on that side to prevent drama

I understand you. My FH’s oldest sister has made it perfectly clear she absolutely hates me. I’ve never even been able to say hello to her - she ignores me every time. She knows nothing about me and it has escalated to family drama that even extends family know about, all because she ignores me and cant stand me. My FH and she don’t talk anymore and haven’t in two years. She will not be invited to our wedding, and I am also worried about drama. Their parents and other sister will understand, it’s the extended family I am worried about. However, she’s given us no reason to try. And while I don’t think she would attend if we invited her, we don’t want to give her the option to. Her actions have consequences and it’s time she learned that. Ultimately I left it up to my FH, and that is his stance. It’s mine as well. Good luck :/ it’s so hard.

Personally I do not believe family is blood. For my post wedding reception I have some family members I will NOT invite nor even tell them any wedding plans. I say that the FH needs to talk to the mom if he does not want them there and maybe if she is very upset by that, then he can invite them to the wedding only. No bachelor party or anything like that. Like someone else said, maybe they do not want to go. I would put it on the mom that if they cause drama during the wedding (if she really wants them there) that she ask them to leave. I am sorry if I am not sympathetic but if family can't be family then why be there for the happy moments of your life.

Depends on the family. With mine, it would be perfectly okay if I excluded some family members; for my FH, his mom would get very offended if we excluded his siblings. As a result, we decided to elope so we can avoid drama all together.

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It's good to hear how it went for other people in this situation. I agree, it's up to him and his mom can just deal with it. Thanks for your input!

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Honestly elopement is sounding like a great option with all the stuff we're dealing with. I totally understand that!

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I totally agree. Our wedding day is supposed to be happy and amazing, not tainted with drama and other people wanting attention. Not inviting the siblings is probably just going to make us have a better time overall.

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Thank you! I hope things go ok for you as well!

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Yeah I would not be surprised if the brother skipped out, the sister loves attention and thinks she's better than everyone else so if she is invited she will show up. I think my fiance will likely have a talk with his mom before sending invites so she isn't surprised by his decision.

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! I hope it all works out okay 😊