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Master July 2022

Inviting Coworkers

Imani, on March 22, 2022 at 10:04 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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I have been at my job for 9 years and I am very close to a lot of my coworkers. I am inviting everyone on my team and just about everyone in our office. (total of 27 people) - however, I am debating if I should give everyone an invitation.

Apart of me want to give everyone an invitation just to extend the invite. And I know about half of them will not show up. Am I being too nice to invite the whole office? Should I only include the ones that I am really close to?
I just didn’t want people to talk about it with someone who wasn’t invited and they get offended. If that makes sense. Curious to know what you all think.

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Imani, on March 23, 2022 at 2:55 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on March 22, 2022 at 10:33 AM
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Invite everyone who you want. Don't invite people you don't. Just mail the invitations to their homes rather than giving them in the office. Unless you hang out with everyone outside of work regularly, I don't think people will get offended that they weren't invited.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 22, 2022 at 10:46 AM
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Yes, I hangout with them outside of work. We’ve been to each other homes and attended events outside of work. I guess I have to put my big girl panties on and not feel bad about not inviting the people I don’t want to come.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on March 22, 2022 at 12:25 PM
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If you invite them, then you also need to invite their significant others. Could you afford as many as 54 extra people? It's always advised to budget for 100% attendance and don't assume people will decline.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 22, 2022 at 12:46 PM
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When you put it like that, I will only be inviting the people I want to come 😅 Thanks Jasmine!
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on March 22, 2022 at 1:01 PM
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That’s a tough one I would invite the ones that you really want there. It’s really hard because once you invite one person on your team you feel obligated to invite others for political reasons and I know I’m struggling with that.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 22, 2022 at 1:08 PM
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Exactly! But the half that I just REALLY don’t want there I won’t invite. We have 3 new people and they’re pretty cool - but Im going to keep their invitation because I don’t know them like that.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on March 22, 2022 at 1:18 PM
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Exactly! I only began inviting about five people but then when I considered the other people in the department that I report to and have political relationships with I realize I had to invite them as well. Fortunately I like them so it’s fine but I felt so pressured to ensure that no one felt slighted
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 22, 2022 at 1:58 PM
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Yes! Same!! I literally just took one to our HR person but she is super cool and we’ve hung out a few times. But you made a very valid point about them and their plus one - I can’t afford that so the ones that don’t need to be invited won’t be.
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Super May 2022
Sloane · on March 22, 2022 at 11:42 PM
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And then the other part is, you don’t know if some co-workers want to come because they truly are happy for you or those who want to come because they want to know about your life and be nosy.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 22, 2022 at 11:54 PM
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EXACTLY!!!
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VIP November 2016
Tara · on March 23, 2022 at 11:37 AM
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I would only invite the ones you actually want. If some of those can't go, or you can afford to have others (plus their significant others) invite more. But honestly I'd only invite the ones you actually *want*!
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 23, 2022 at 12:14 PM
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Thanks Tara! Should I feel bad about the ones I’m not inviting? There’s this one lady who I am ‘cool’ with - but in all honesty I do not want her there. But I feel bad because she means well and she’s a nice person. Her office is also right next to mine and the walls are thin, and I know she’s been over hearing my conversations with people. I think she might be sad or offended I’m not inviting her.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 23, 2022 at 1:17 PM
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How many do you socialize with outside of working hours? Go out to dinner together. Not just after work drinks.

Contrary to popular belief, most will not be offended if they are not invited, but if you send one invite publicly at work, then you need to invite all. If you have space/budget limitations, don’t invite any or only those whom you have dinner with for example. Most coworkers understand they are not invited but will host a shower to celebrate you
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 23, 2022 at 1:28 PM
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A good handful of them. But I have decided to not invite certain ones. Especially since I am not as close to them. I’d added all of them to my guest list and included them in my numbers. However, I removed most of them 😆 especially after rethinking the ones I want there and the ones I don’t. I think it’s just me and my over thinking about it.
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VIP November 2016
Tara · on March 23, 2022 at 1:48 PM
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Honestly, I wouldn't. People understand you can't invite everyone! A co-worker of mine who I'm now good friends with didn't invite me to hers. We had talked about her wedding and everything about it for monthssss prior to the big day. We weren't super good friends at the time, but still friends. I didn't expect her to invite me, and although I would have loved to have gone, I wasn't upset at all. Another co-worker who I actually worked with wasn't invited to my wedding. I only invited a handful of people. I felt a little bad, but she still gave me a gift, was super excited for me and completely understood. There were no hard feelings at all!!! I wouldn't stress too much about it. If she's not someone you spend time with outside of work, or would talk to if you left, I wouldn't feel bad.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on March 23, 2022 at 2:55 PM
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Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience Tara! This makes me feel better. I’d literally been stressing about this for about a week now!
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