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Inviting coworkers??

Amina, on November 5, 2019 at 3:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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So my office is pretty small and I’m not sure what to do about invites. I closely work with 7 other guys (6 who are at least 20+ years older) 5 of whom are married. Out of those guys, I only really speak to one out of the office. Two others I’m pretty close to as we speak a lot about our personal lives to each other. The rest I’m just cordial with as we work so closely but I don’t see myself ever really hanging with them outside of the office. I currently have only officially invited one of the 7 so far and we were talking about who else I might invite. He suggested if anyone else, I should at least invite the boss. He said he would most likely say no but would also probably give a nice gift (he emphasized card gift lol). I’m kinda torn about this situation. I would possibly invite 2 more guys out of the 7 but idk about the boss. I like to keep my work and social life separate and I really don’t think my boss would mesh well with my guest list and it would just be awkward but I also don’t want it to be awkward that he’s offended he didn’t get one. Another lady got married last year and I’m pretty sure she didn’t invite anyone in the office so I don’t know what to do? Should I invite the 2 additional guys and their wives and my boss? I’m leaving more towards just the 2 additional guys as I don’t really see my boss too much anymore. Any advice??

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on November 6, 2019 at 8:20 AM

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Jennifer · on November 5, 2019 at 3:52 PM
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Only invite those you are genuinely close with! If you hang out outside of work, or can't imagine your wedding without them, invite them! If you only see them at work, don't invite them!
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Lady · on November 5, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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I agree to only invite those you're actually friends with. If you're not that social with your boss, then I wouldn't. I invited my boss at the time, but he used to hang out with my friend group at least once a week after work, lol. That's definitely unusual, but you get what I mean
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Devoted August 2020
Valerie · on November 5, 2019 at 4:09 PM
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Think about where you will seat the coworkers that you actually want to invite and with who. That might help you decide on how many people you have the space for. If anything, I would say it’s more appropriate to invite coworkers rather than your boss. Generally, bosses know not to expect an invite especially since they are in management and you are not. Or if you are a manager only invite other leadership so you don’t show favoritism to an associate under you.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 5, 2019 at 6:14 PM
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If you're close to certain people, I think it's okay to invite those certain people. Just do it discreetly so you don't risk hurting others' feelings!
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Taylor · on November 5, 2019 at 8:39 PM
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I invited three of the girls in my office. I've kept them posted/vented on all wedding related stuff this far and felt like it would be right to invite them to attend I didn't invite anyone else as these are the only people I consistently talk to in my office. I'm 30 years younger than literally everyone. lol
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Expert February 2020
Cherry · on November 6, 2019 at 2:26 AM
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Taylor, same! I've been gushing and venting all over a few of my coworkers for months so I think it's only fair to invite them.

I have 3 bosses and one I'm really closer to, so I'm inviting all 3 to be fair, and figure not all will say yes. This has been a really tough decision for me too, but only because our guest list is at about 50 people and there are others we could have invited, but I held firm about coworkers, since I see them more often than I see my family half the time, and I don't want things at work to be awkward.
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Judith · on November 6, 2019 at 7:36 AM
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Just the 3 co workers and will es, at most. Don't expect someone you never intend to have in your home, as a friend, to feel like as the boss, he needs to give $100-$150 as a gift, or that you need to spend $200-$300 for him and his SO, just to remain on good terms with your boss. Anyone just work, most especially a boss, should not be invited to your wedding, or showers, when not involved personally otherwise. If work people have a coffee cake and give a group card to wish you well, that is enough for non- friend co-workers.
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Taylor · on November 6, 2019 at 8:20 AM
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Exactly. We have close to 250 invites but are trying to knock 10-15 off. FH's mom has a third of the list taken up with her guests and I have made it very clear to him that I will not be making any more cuts on my end. It's my wedding and I'm not taking my coworkers who I see every day off to accommodate your mom's friend that she hasn't seen in 4 years. Love the woman to death but no. FH is also a firefighter and you better believe a good chunk of the guests are his "brothers". You get to invite your coworkers so ya better not make a peep about me inviting mine.
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