Inviting coworkers to wedding?

Its tricky, that's for sure. I am only inviting one co-worker as she is the only one I talk to outside of work. I don't talk wedding stuff with other co-workers since I am not planning to invite them.

Following. I am inviting my boss because she has done SO much for me, but I REALLY dislike my other coworkers and I am not inviting them (the constantly gossip and I HATE drama). I worry they will find out she is invited and then proceed to gossip about it.

In such a small company, people will talk, you should probably invite all or not.

But I would honestly hold off mentioning anything about inviting them until you send out invites, and send them to their home address. A LOT can change in the next year and a half. You could switch jobs, co workers could switch jobs and you wouldn't see them anymore but they are still invited. Do not send STD's to coworkers... there have been many regret stories on here about people who sent STDs to coworkers and by the time invite time rolled around that person was no longer at the company, was no longer a friend, or something else.

Just wait until you send out invites in over a year to make any decisions.

I would wait before making any invite decisions about co-workers. And not send them save the dates. It is appropriate to invite some but not all but discretion is key.

I think it's WAY to early for you to even think about that.... So much can change in an office in 6 months, let alone 2 years. You can consider co-workers, but I wouldn't even send save the dates to that crew. Wait until Invitation time, then invite whom you want from the office.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be invited to a co-worker's wedding, I'd just feel obligated to purchase a gift. I barely have the time/money to get to all the weddings going on in my social circle.

This is hard since the company is so small. Take your time to think about it and even if you're sending STDs to the rest of your guest list do not send them to your coworkers. A lot can change over the next year + and who knows who you'll be close to when it's time to send out the invitations. If you end up not inviting everyone I'd make sure the people you are inviting know that so they can keep the talk about it in the office to a minimum.

Our rule was we're not inviting anyone from work unless we hang out with them outside of work. It's still pretty early for you to be worrying about this though. Focus on those who you absolutely have to have there first. If you have room and decide to invite your bosses, make sure you explain to them in private that you cannot afford to invite the entire office and to please keep this as discrete as possible. I wouldn't go around showing off your wedding pictures after the wedding either... They'll probably be in a few.

Yeah, as far as the people I'm definitely inviting, they'll for sure be working here because it's the president, his wife/my boss, president's brother haha so they're not going anywhere. The new girl moved here from a different state for this job so I don't see her going anywhere. Most of the others have been here for 2+ years or close to it, so I don't think they'd leave but you're definitely right, people come and go in companies all the time. I didn't think not to send STDs to anyone, but that's a good tip. I'll probably send one to the first few people I mentioned, but will hold off on the others.

And this is early for sure and a lot can change in a year and a half, I just needed to figure out our initial guest list now while planning budgets for things like photography and such.

This is a tricky one!

I invited only 2 coworkers. I work for a huge company. If I were having a bigger wedding, I would have wanted at least 20 more coworkers there, but I didn't, so only invited 2 that I am very close with. I was close enough with them to shut the door one day and say "hey, you're the only ones from the office invited, so don't talk about it in front of others please" and they understood. Overall it was fine.

I would suggest not sending coworkers STDs though, even ones you're pretty sure you'll invite. There have been a few stories here about people getting fired or moving or something and then not wanting to invite coworkers.

They'll definitely still be working there, but will you? Someone (I don't remember who) posted recently that she sent STDs to all of her coworkers and has since been fired. I strongly recommend not sending any coworkers STDs.

You still have so much time before you need to figure this out. I wouldn't worry too much and maybe try and figure it out in 6 months. You never know, people might leave or new people might be brought in that you want to invite.

I work for a small company too. I invited almost everyone in my office, there is only 7 people. One guy didn't get invited because he started in June and we sent invites out 2 months later. I didn't feel comfortable adding him just because. We actually talked about it and he said he understood which was nice. Small companies are similar to families so its hard.

Definitely do not send anyone you work with STDs, you have no idea if you'll still be working there in a year. You have time to re-evaluate before you send the invites out.

For your budgeting purposes, do 22 people (coworker plus significant other) fit into your overall plan? Everyone else has said what is true- so much can change before March of 2017. You need to make a final decision by, say, January 2017 when your formal invitations go out.

If 22 people don't make or break your guest list and budget, then reserve the line items now and when you look for a venue, keep in mind those 22 people. That way you have the flexibility to include them all in a year if you want to and it's politically wise. I would go all-or-nothing when it comes to coworkers unless you actually socialize with them outside of work, so you could just call it now-- "no coworkers" and eliminate 22 potential spots from your list and planning.

I'm in this same exact boat. I work with 20 people at my company but if I invite them all it would 40 people (spouses). We have a budget for 110 so FH and I agreed to each invite 50 people then use the rest of the space for vendors and kids.

Its a little bit easier for me because everyone I work with is a good 20+ years older than me and they are all male except for one woman. I plan on inviting her and her husband plus my boss and his wife. I hope everyone else will understand.

I would not send STDs, even to those you say will still be there. Because then it looks like you invited some and not the others. Just hold off on everyone. You have no idea what will happen. DH would have invited co workers at his old job, but he got downsized from it and they handled it very poorly (small family company and no formal HR). It left a bad taste in his mouth and he ended up not inviting anyone from there. Had we sent STDs to them, we would have been obligated to send an invite.

@Private it would be 24 people, everyone here has a significant other. One person here I don't EVER talk to or interact with, like we don't even say hello or goodbye to each other. But I couldn't invite everyone else and not him, right? Ugh lol. 24 people really is not in our budget, and I have a hard time not inviting someone I actually want there just to be polite and invite a coworker I never ever talk to. -__-

@Ashlei yeah I wish that were the case for me most people I work with are around my age, the oldest person here is 36. But we're trying to budget for 80. 90 will probably be doable, but 104 so I can invite all of my coworkers? Nope

So what I'm gathering from all of your advice is to not send anyone STDs and evaluate it closer to when we send invites out. So I think I'll do that! I just hope none of my friends post photos of STDs or anything I send out, because I'm friends with everyone on Facebook and they might see it.

Now I understand one of the many reasons why planning a wedding is so stressful!

I would say invite only coworkers who you hang out with outside of work or none at all.

I'm having the same issue. In May FH & I moved 3 hours from home (where our wedding will be) and I started working at a trail riding stables here. I love my coworkers but I don't hang out with any of them outside of horses (work, going on trail rides, horse shows, etc). I will be sending out save the dates after Christmas and have all of them addresses except for the last minute ones. I hadn't planned on sending to any of them since I was new and didn't know if they even liked me but now I'm thinking about just asking them if they would like me to send them one. Since the wedding is 3 hours away and on a day we would all normally be working, I don't feel like any of them could come anyway but I'm considering still asking that way I'm not sending to all and none could come.

Rule of thumb is not to send save the dates to co-workers because you have to invite who you send them to and a lot can happen in that time (people quit, get fired, etc.). That said, I sent the few co-workers who I'm inviting a save the date. I also work in a small office and wanted to invite certain people, all if I could, but I can't. Thus, I invited my department, bosses, one other co-worker and spouses. I know my whole department can't come because at least 2 people will have to work so that's four less right off the bat. Anyway, I don't believe in the all or nothing rule, but just invite who you want and discreetly ask that they don't say anything in front of the others.