Inviting coworkers to church only

Nope, all or nothing.

Nope, they need to be invited to both. Now, on that note....they can decline the reception themselves, after they have been invited to it.

Nope.

Thats a big NOPE. I like that theyre wanting to go and understand but really thats an obligation you dont need.

Absolutely not. Both or neither. You can't invite people to just one part of the event.

Meeka, you follow your gut -- it rarely, if ever, leads you astray.

You start here -- with what you know: "I know it's rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception." Yes, it is horribly rude to invite people to the pageantry but not the party. Don't rethink that -- you know the truth.

Then, you wrote, ". It's not all of my coworkers, but many of them have said 'I would love to come to just the ceremony, I know wedding receptions get really expensive'. I told them that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that." Not a single person should have come to you with this nonsense. This is your wedding, not an "open to the public" church function, and not a single individual had the right to solicit an invitation to your wedding ceremony.

Next, you write, "I told them that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. They said they think I should just have an open invitation to any one who wants to come to the church but they don't need an invitation to the reception? I'm hesitant to do this, as this still seems very rude, even though most of them are insisting on it." What is going on? When did this hideous approach to a private affair become socially acceptable? You've made it clear that you aren't comfortable with the open ceremony/no reception approach to your wedding, but these individuals are still insisting that you make yourself uncomfortable?

You need to draw a line -- not only because of those who insist on attending your ceremony despite your expressed opinion that you don't want to do this, but because your FMIL is telling you -- not asking you -- that your FH's church holds 500 people, and that massive congregation is coming to your ceremony.

Honestly...while church may be an anchor in your life, I'd have a religious ceremony at the venuel If you're in "their house", apparently you play by their rules. You can have a very spiritual ceremony, on YOUR ground, and you won't have to deal with something as ridiculous as an open house wedding ceremony. This is sacred. This is personal. This is private. It's not a prayer meeting or a worship service. It's your moment...his moment. Keep it that way.

Couldnt put it better than pp. Just say no.

Nope....rude.

Weddings are open to other members of the church. My wedding will be posted on the church bulletin and I have no say if random members want to show up. Once again this is only open to members of my church. however, I will not be inviting anyone, member or not to the church service and not the reception. You are correct in thinking this is rude. It is very brazen of your co workers to invite themselves to your wedding.

Hmmm... my church is open to the public. Anyone can come in at any time, to pray, contemplate, rejoice in a wedding, etc.

Sounds great -- anyone can come to pray - nice...contemplate -- okay...or rejoice in a wedding -- hold the phone. What? Why is any member of the congregation entitled to attend a private affair?

The bride and groom, members of a specific church do not HAVE to agree with a printed bulletin announcement of their wedding (and as far as putting an actual announcement on real bulletin board, you don't HAVE to do that, right?).

I'm sorry, but if this is what your church advocates or just plain announces (despite your misgivings), then I believe the couple, if they're going to be married in that church, have to spend an hour hosting those non-reception guests with soft drinks, coffee, and desserts. But, as I said, I don't understand or agree with the premise of your wedding/our church/our guest list.

The premise is the church is a community that supports each other. Therefore, any events held at the church are open to all members. I am not renting the space so I do not get exclusive access. The church doors are to remain open and accessible. They place it in the bulletin but at least at my church not many if any members show up. If I didn't agree to these rules I would not get married in a church. I might not like them but this is the way it is done. This isn't just for weddings. Baptisms, funerals etc all follow this as well.

Wow. Thank you for all the comments everyone! I just felt really uncomfortable. I appreciate it everyone

My last two weddings I was only invited to the church ceremony by work colleagues. I get that it's a huge breach of etiquette and many people find it quite rude but I was still happy enough to go. I wouldn't do it myself though.