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Just Said Yes September 2019

Inviting coworkers and their spouses

mia, on February 6, 2018 at 3:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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I work at a small office and am planning on inviting my coworkers. We are a very close group of girls. While I do not have a problem inviting them and their spouses, my problem is that my fiance and I want to keep it as small as possible, so we are trying to keep invites to married/dating couples only. We do not plan on giving single invites a plus one, we want to be strict on this, so we can keep our numbers down. The dilemma is that one of my coworkers is divorced so she would not be given a plus one, while the other 4 girls would be allowed to bring their spouses. They will most likely all be sitting at one table together. Is it rude to have them all sit together and her be the only one without a date?

We have talked about only inviting my coworkers and not their spouses but we feel this is more rude as I know them all.

8 Comments

  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
    • Flag

    I would say it's rather awkward being single and showing up alone to a wedding. It's not fair to the single people, versus the dating or married ones. Even if they all know each other, it's still unfair to them.

    • Reply
  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
    • Flag

    If it was 2-3 of them I would say no big deal, but it's only one extra plate. I would just offer it. She may not use it.

    • Reply
  • Jurnee
    Expert May 2019
    Jurnee ·
    • Flag
    I agree. Since it is one plate, I would allow her a date.
    • Reply
  • Xandria
    VIP December 2018
    Xandria ·
    • Flag

    Do you regularly go out with all those couples and the one single coworker? If that's the case, and it won't be any different then situations when your out with her any way and I don't see why it would be a problem.

    If you're worried about it, and its just one plate, I would extend the offer, she might not even use it.

    If there is ANYTHING couple specific though, I would offer her a plus one. I went to a wedding last year that had a bunch of "grab your partner" group activities, and I had just gotten dumped, and it was awful.

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert July 2017
    SaraBear ·
    • Flag
    If it’s only plate, I would just let her bring a plus one. I’m not sure how much she would enjoy being at a table full of couples at a wedding. If at least one or two of the other girls were single, it would be fine but it would be weird in this case. Not trying to be mean, but putting myself in her shoes, if I got invited without a plus one and knew I would be sitting with my four coworkers and their significant others, I would decline the invite.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    I would also let her bring a date since it is only 1 coworker in this situation. Also, I'm glad you saw how rude it would be NOT to invite your coworkers' spouses. It doesn't matter if you know them or not. Every couple should be invited together because they are a social unit. Also, there is over a year before your wedding, it is possible this coworker will be dating someone. You must also extend an invitation to anyone she might be dating at the time your invitations go out. (This goes for anyone on your guest list.)

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  • PaulaAnn95
    Dedicated October 2018
    PaulaAnn95 ·
    • Flag

    If it was multiple people without a +1, it would make sense... Just one girl, I would give her one. That's just awkward.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    If one plate is going to break your budget, I would revisit the idea of inviting your co-workers at all. The general guideline is to only invite those co-workers with whom you have a social relationship outside work, Do you socialize with these people outside work? (work functions, lunches and drinks after work don't count).

    You also have lots of time before your wedding. Everyone's status could change before then.

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