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Inviting a friend but not her partner?

Penelope, on May 17, 2021 at 4:28 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

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My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. My friend (the bride) knows him and worked with him in the past too. He doesn't really like him but is civil and friendly. A few weeks ago she asked who I'm bringing as my plus one and I told her it would be my boyfriend. She said I'd be the only one at the table of all girls bringing their partner, implying she'd prefer if I didn't bring him. The save the date I received was for me plus one, not me and him. I know one of her bridesmaids (a former friend of mine) also doesn't like him. But I don't want to go alone or see the sense in bringing someone unknown to the couple. Thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advance 🙂

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Latest activity by Cristy, on May 18, 2021 at 7:18 PM

Expert April 2022
Fred · on May 17, 2021 at 6:28 AM
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In this situation I would RSVP no.
I wouldn't attend a wedding without my future spouse.
Even though,in my mind, the fact that she doesn't like him is a totally valid reason not to invite him, you have the right to decline her invite if you don't wanna attend with someone else.
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on May 17, 2021 at 7:20 AM
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Do you know why she doesn't like him?
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Super December 2020
Anais · on May 17, 2021 at 9:28 AM
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If you give someone a plus one, you can’t dictate who the guest brings. I think it’s a little ridiculous that your friend is implying you can’t bring your partner even though your plus one invite didn’t specify that.
Do you know why she doesn’t like him
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Super July 2023
Eniale · on May 17, 2021 at 9:46 AM
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Doesn't matter if or why she doesn't like him.
She extended you a plus one. She doesn't get to decide who that plus one is.
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Super October 2022
AJ · on May 17, 2021 at 10:31 AM
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If you got a plus one bring your boyfriend, but honestly if she’s going to be like she is politely decline.
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Super July 2020
Cool · on May 17, 2021 at 11:26 AM
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My first thought: you were given a plus one, bring him. My second thought: why do multiple friends not like him? That’s a bit concerning. More context would help; maybe in this case it’s best not to bring him.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 17, 2021 at 11:54 AM
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Decline the invite. It’s rude to invite anyone without their significant other. They are asking you to celebrate their relationship while disrespecting yours.

A significant other is never a plus one.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on May 17, 2021 at 12:00 PM
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I say bring him. They gave you the plus one (probably knowing you would choose your BF whether they named him or not). Or it's possible they just gave a +1 for everyone because they couldn't be bothered to find out the names of people's SOs
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Penelope · on May 17, 2021 at 1:58 PM
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He still lives with his parents (so do I) and in her eyes that won't change for him. She thinks (and has told me this) that he won't ever step up for us to have a future together even though he's opening his own business and we are moving in together later this year/early next year.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 17, 2021 at 2:06 PM
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That’s not her place to judge. Do you really want to be friends with someone who blatantly disrespects your partner?
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on May 17, 2021 at 2:27 PM
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Yeah that's not really enough of a reason imo to not invite him by name. I would probably decline the invite. You don't need judgemental people in your life.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on May 17, 2021 at 2:35 PM
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If she won't allow your boyfriend to come then I would not go. That is ridiculous.
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Super February 2022
Grace · on May 17, 2021 at 8:51 PM
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I would take the boyfriend so long as you think he will be respectful to the bride and the other guests who have a problem with him (sounds like that is not an issue). She knew you were dating him when she gave you the +1 so it should be no surprise to her that he is there.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on May 18, 2021 at 7:18 PM
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That is very rude, knowing you have a boyfriend, to invite you with a "plus 1" instead of inviting him by name. Even if you excuse that, she straight up told you she hopes you don't bring him.
It's not her place to judge your relationship. Unless there were some extreme circumstances involving violence or something, she has no right to tell you who you can bring as your plus 1. If she didn't want you bringing anyone, she shouldn't have given you the plus 1. I would not go. She clearly doesn't respect your relationship with this man, so I wouldn't be there to celebrate hers--especially without my man!!
P.S. there's nothing wrong with living at home while saving or trying to get a business off the ground. Good for him! I wish you both the best of luck!!
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Inviting a friend but not her partner?

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