Inviting a foreign exchange student??

If you can afford it, I say yes, invite him. Your extended family (fbil and fsil) are going to be the only people he knows for a short amount of time until he makes friends in the US. I think if it's not a huge burden on your budget extending the invite may be an appreciated welcoming gesture of hospitality. He may decline on his own as he may not want to impose. If he does attend I'm sure he'll understand why he's not being invited to also be included in the family photos. Just to add a laugh: am I the only one instantly reminded of Long Duck Dong / 16 Candles given the subject matter?

I'd say the right thing would be to invite him if you can afford it and the foreign exchange student might really have fun getting to experience a different culture's wedding customs. I think if they want the full experience of being an exchange student then a wedding can really give them a taste of the culture. So while everyone is doing pictures and wedding stuff he might just enjoy sitting back and taking it all in. I think you should really make sure your FH is okay with it though, you don't want to upset him by going behind his back to invite him or anything. It is weird that you found out through the grapevine that this exchange student was coming but I wouldn't let it be a big deal. They're obviously close to you by being in the wedding, you don't want to cause any tension. And hey maybe the exchange student will have some interesting customs from their own culture to share with you!

Yes, do it. Depending on the system the student is coming through, he may even be encouraged/required to attend events like this. Don't worry about him during photo time; he will know enough to stay out of the way.

Exchange students are so much fun! Don't think of this as being stressful; think of it as a chance to get to know someone from a completely different culture.

I would definitely invite him. As long as you are comfortable, I would directly ask why you were not informed about the student. As far as pictures, I would take all your family pictures and then invite him in for a picture or 2. What a wonderful experimence of hospitlity would be have to take home with him and treasure forever!

I wouldn't even question it .. INVITE.

The student is going to be part of their family for the year he/she is here. If I was that kid and my whole 'family' was getting all dressed up and heading out to this big ol' event/celebration and I wasn't even invited to .. I'd feel like crap!

I would invite. That student will be part of their family while here, and you never know the relationship they may continue to have afterwards.

FSIL studied abroad for a short time, 6 months maybe, and her ENTIRE Danish family was at her wedding, and her Danish sister was a bridesmaid! Being an exchange student for a year will surely make them close.

It's also a good way for the student to experience an American wedding. I would call the brother though, as since they're in the wedding they may have plans, but if you can afford to add the student, I would add them.

YES! The exchange students are here to experience the local culture and participate in a family as if he or she is one of their own.

A co-worker just decided kind of last minute to host a student. It all came about kind of last minute and now that she's (the student is) here, school's starting, etc., etc., there's A LOT of adjustment going on for the whole family. They are probably dealing with that and your wedding isn't necessarily the top of their priority list in the immediate future while they are settling in.

(I wouldn't take it personally, is my point...)

Also, as a past exchange student myself, I often found myself in awkward situations where I had to entertain myself (like when the rest of the fam is busy with wedding stuff). I wouldn't stress about it. If possible introduce him to some other guests his age.

Give him a camera and ask him to take pics!

Yes!!! As a matter of fact I am inviting a friend from Germany whom I met while she was a foreign exchange student when we were in HS! She told me that the host fam she was staying with at the time went on vacation without her. I would personally never want anyone to feel excluded.

Who knows what you might learn from him!

I would say, it depends on the program. If they're a high school student who is living with them like a family member, then yes definitely invite them. I personally was a foreign exchange student in Spain for a year in college; and the family I lived with was more or less just like a boarding house- it wasn't traditional for college students to live in dorms and they got paid for myself and one other girl to live there. They made us dinner and some small talk, I let them know if I would be going out of town so they wouldn't worry, and that was about it. If this person is going to truly be part of their family, then yes, invite them, but I personally wouldn't have been offended if my host family went to a wedding without me; I would have found it weirder for them to ask me to come along.

Thank you all for your advice. We were just kind of thrown when we heard the news, i mean they haven't even posted it on Facebook! (FSIL posts everything!) I guess we are just going to embrace him and include him in the process. What's one more person anyway at this point?! We did talk about how it could be a really interesting cultural experience for him to take back home with him.

I would definitely! Ever seen 16 candles?! Foreign exchange students are technically considered to be part of the family, so not inviting him would be rude to me.

That's my 2 cents ;-)

I have been a student in a foreign country twice. both times for 3 weeks, so I can only imagine staying in another country for a year!

my first reaction was to invite him no matter what, BUT, I got to thinking about it and I suggest you speak to someone from the family. they may have made plans for him to go somewhere with another host family&he may be looking forward to it.

he may find the idea of being at family wedding intimidating.

why not just ask the family what they think? as to if he is upset that he isn't going?

he may wish to stay behind and there may not even be a issue.

sometimes what is 'appropriate' isn't what will work best for everyone.

I have two different relatives that are hosting foreign exchange students and While they are here we will treat them like family and invite them to all events family related or not. I will meet both of these students the day of my wedding and I am not concerned at all.

Remember that they are in a foreign country and their greatest wish is to be accepted and feel at ease. Imagine if ther host family was to go to a wedding but leave them with a baby sitter. They would be confused and hurt. \

Ask the family for some information about him/her and see if you can get together before the wedding to meet them and get to know them so you arent strangers at the wedding. ( if that is possible distance and time wise)

My family hosted several exchange students when I was growing up and we have kept in touch with them over the years.

The student should be included in a family wedding. The point is to immerse in a culture.

I agree with the rest of the ladies. My FH's family hosted several exchange students when he was younger. One enjoyed the experience so much, his younger sister came a few years later and stayed with them as well. The families became so close that FH's family has been to the Czech Republic several times to visit, including for the one exchange student's wedding (FFIL walked her down the aisle!)

My point being, there's a good chance that this person will become close to the family and stay in touch, and in 10 years you will still remember them (not look at any photos of them as a stranger!)