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FutureMrsKC
Master January 2019

Invites/shower timeline...

FutureMrsKC, on December 22, 2017 at 10:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 7

Hi all, so I'm from PA originally but will be getting married in FL where I currently live. About 70% of our guest list lives out of state, either in PA or elsewhere. We will most likely be treating our invite/STD timeline as a destination wedding so people have time to book flights/accommodations. I'm planning on sending save the dates in March or April (10/9 months from our date). My mother and sister have offered to throw me a bridal shower in PA in November when I am there for my cousins wedding, and I don't have the budget to go back so close to my own wedding (like in December during the holidays and 1 month from my date). I wasn't planning on having actual invitations sent out by that time, or I would be getting them ready to send (12 weeks out) so would it be strange to get an invite for a bridal shower before getting the actual invitation for the wedding? The shower will be catered/in a restaurant so I'd have to send the invite before the wedding invite regardless. They will have already gotten save the dates. Thanks in advance!

7 Comments

Latest activity by Stephannie, on December 22, 2017 at 2:14 PM
  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    The shower host will determine how and when to send the invitations. Every time I've been invited to a shower, it has been before the wedding invites go out. As long as they have the Save the Date with the location/date, they should be able to figure out their own travel arrangements.

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    I should rephrase, I will not personally be sending the invites out for the shower, but my sister is 19 and this is my moms first wedding to plan (other than her own in 1990) so I'm helping them out with timeline stuff. I won't be making/ordering/sending the invites or anything just asking about timeline, thanks. Smiley smile I'm also not worried about travel arrangements, the save the date has our website with a page for travel. Just didn't know if it would be confusing to get a shower invite first.

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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    Save the dates: April

    Shower Invitations: September

    Wedding Invitations: November

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  • Aly
    Expert June 2018
    Aly ·
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    Those who throw the shower will send out the shower invites and pick the date.

    I don't think I've ever received the wedding invitation prior to the shower invite. Usually the shower is far enough in advance.

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    Hey there, we got married in DE (where I grew up) while living in AZ. We sent STDs 7 months in advance of our wedding. The typical time frame for STDs is 6-8 months before your wedding. STDs are really intended for DWs and OOT guests, so unless your guests will have to travel internationally, the 6-8 months of advance notice is perfect. I wouldn't send them any earlier than that.

    Sending invitations earlier than 6-8 weeks before your wedding isn't necessary. You are already notifying them early with your STDs, so receiving an invitation 4-6 weeks before they would normally get a wedding invitation won't actually impact anyone's ability to travel. You've taken care of that, already. I wouldn't send them white as early as you are planning to do.

    As for the shower, my family did plan a small shower for me in DE while I was visiting for the holidays, but it was a surprise shower, so I can't say for sure when exactly guests were invited. I think my mom fished for our registry info and asked that we finish making changes to it in November, so I guess guests were invited later that month. At that point guests had received their STDs, but not the actual invitation.

    No, as a guest I would not think it was weird if I received a shower invitation before I received the wedding invitation. Since you will have already sent out STDs, your guests already know they're invited. What I would think would be weird is if I received a shower invite, and never received a wedding invitation later on when it's time for invitations to go out for the couple's wedding.
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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    Everyone who will be invited to the shower is already on our guest list. My mom asked for our guest list to have a rough guesstimate of how many people she would invite to make sure a popular restaurant up in PA can accommodate for the number she plans.

    We will have some guests traveling internationally for the wedding so I'm comfortable sending save the dates 10 or 9 months in advance.

    We will be getting invites ready 12 weeks out (i.e. addressing them, stuffing them, etc.) I will not be sending them 12 weeks out.

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  • Stephannie
    Super December 2017
    Stephannie ·
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    Hi OP,

    I had the same exact type of timeline. I had two showers (one hosted by my MIL & one by my mom, MOH (sister) and aunt in my home town). Each of these invites was sent before the wedding invites, but STD had been sent. It was not weird for my guests or I with this timeline.

    I did send invites out before the second shower (October 30th) so people had gotten them by the time the shower rolled around.

    I think you will be fine!

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