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Just Said Yes September 2020

Invites

Katherine, on February 1, 2020 at 9:46 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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FH and I are having family style so there is no need to ask for meal preferences unless they are vegetarian which we plan on including on the invite.

My question is how should I enforce the head count on the invite? We are wanting to keep it an 18+ wedding because that alone includes 250 people. But I have some extended family that is not familiar with wedding etiquette (they’ve proven this with past family weddings) and I fear their 18 year old son or daughter will try to bring a date. Is it wrong for me to limit them if I know the family won’t even bring us a card? How do I politely restrict the number of guests per each family?
I don’t mind guests bringing a date but in this instance, this part of the family just shows up for food and drinks with not even a card. They are fun and are family so I can’t “not” invite them but I don’t know if/how to go about this. HELP!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Sherry, on February 3, 2020 at 11:29 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on February 1, 2020 at 10:30 AM
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It’s fine to restrict how many people they bring, that’s entirely normal, but it shouldn’t be because of whether they will or won’t give you a gift. That’s not what weddings are for. You should address the invitation to whoever is invited and specify on the RSVP card how many seats you’ve reserved in their honor.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on February 1, 2020 at 11:39 AM
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Just address the invite on who you plan on inviting. If they send it back with more rsvps then they were given then call them and inforce it.
If you are epecially concerned you could call them now and just tell them we are sending invites and it is only for you and ×××. We are not extending invites for people to bring plus ones
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on February 2, 2020 at 2:07 AM
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People who aren’t on the envelope aren’t invited. Just make it clear who. Mr and mrs x. Jennifer x. No plus ones.
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on February 3, 2020 at 11:29 AM
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Whether or not you think someone will bring a gift should not determine who you invite. You can however limit who you invite because of their age but make that clear on the details card/website. Just addressing mr and mrs on the envelope is not enough as some will still assume that the family in invited.
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