Invited without my fh after we will be married

This doesn’t fly in my social circle, but I’ve seen people on here mention it as being the norm with their co-workers. Personally when I attend a wedding I spend a lot of money so if my husband isn’t invited I would just decline.

It is pretty common for sports groups and clubs as well as coworkers and school mates. I f everyone is in the same state they can spend time together. Most often the majority of SO would rather not go.

View Quoted Comment Agree with Sarah. I wouldn't attend, even if I wouldn't have to spend money.
The couple has the right to make all the rules they want, including this or the 'no ring,no bring' and a guest has the right to accept or to decline .
My piece of advice: follow you heart on this

I wouldn't want to attend a wedding my husband wasn't invited to even if I knew a bunch of other people in attendance.

I would feel out what the rest of the group is doing as far as accepting/declining. It seems like you were invited as a group which is why your spouses weren’t invited. I imagine it would be awkward if you were the only person to not go from the group only because your husband isn’t invited.

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Yes we were definitely invited as a group. And if I declined, I would probably just say I was busy that night.

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I think for me, it feels kind of like I'm an obligation guest who isn't important enough to include my spouse, which makes me think I don't need to be there

I got engaged while in grad school just a couple of months after I started. I hadn’t gotten to know any of my classmates. By the time my wedding rolled around I wanted to invite them as we had grown close but the guest list was set and higher than we wanted it to be, so they didn’t get an invite. However, if I would have Included them they or spouses would not have been invited. Not because I dont respect their relationships to dislike their husbands. Just simply for the fact we were a close knit group of women who got along very well together and enjoy spending time together. I feel that spouses would have felt very out of place not knowing a single other person, not even the bride or groom, besides their wife who was enjoy the company of her friends. (We have never hung out with spouses so they have never met each other). I’m not sure how my friends would have felt about it, but I imagine they would have been happy for night out with the girls. If the tables turn and the last 2 single girls get married and I’m invited without my husband I’d probably go and have fun, and my husband would be relieved to not have to go sit through a wedding of a person he doesn’t know. Not saying your group feels the same way, but I just wanted to give a perspective from a brides point of view. I think it would be fine to go especially if you’re invited as a team and you’re all close. I also think it’s perfectly fine to decline going if you feel uncomfortable. But don’t feel unimportant or like an obligation.

This is a tough one. Ultimately, I wouldn’t attend without my husband unless I was *extremely* close with the girls from the group. Even then, I likely wouldn’t. I think this is an innocent enough oversight on her end, I could see how some may think that’s acceptable. I’m also very codependent lol.

I can see both sides of this, why the bride only invited the group members and not spouses and also why you are upset. Yes, this is more common than you would think, especially with coworkers and other people who only socialize as a group that does not include their spouses. I think in this case I would let myself feel annoyed for a while before letting go of it and moving on, and then go to the wedding alone. But that is just me. You should do what is right for you.

I get the whole invited as a group concept. But my thoughts are that if those people are close enough friends to be invited to the wedding, they should be invited with their spouses like everyone else. Otherwise, OP I agree with you that it seems like an obligation invite.

Yeah personally I would always invite plus ones including for my wedding even though I don’t know them too much so I expect the same respect. I would probably decline the offer!

Me personally I would not attend without my SO. I get that she invited the club but I still don't feel like that is an excuse to not invite the SOs.

Not acceptable. Huge etiquette breach because a significant other, regardless of the duration of the relationship, is an automatic invite because you are a social unit. The significant other IS NOT a plus one, contrary to popular belief.


If they are unable and unwilling to respect your relationship while you to celebrate theirs, they don’t know basic common courtesy. Decline the invite.

View Quoted Comment Oh no, I didn’t think you would say you were declining since your FH wasn’t invited lol.


If you consider the person a friend, I would attend, even without your FH. You’ll know other people and you will all be in the same boat. They may really value the group but not have the means or space to invite spouses.

I'm on the fence on this one. I feel like this happens when couples want to have big weddings and invite people from every social circle they belong to, but actually cannot afford to host a large wedding. They say "well I want to invite these people from this part of my life, but I don't actually know them well enough to think its worth including their spouses that I've never met." It feels similar to when couples splurge on a fancy venue and a designer wedding dress but then skimp on food and have a cash bar. It's almost attention seeking behavior in a way. While I can understand the rationale of inviting a team and expecting everyone to have fun together, I feel like weddings are all about love and going to one without your love kinda stinks.

The question I would ask myself is, "do I think I'd have fun at this event without my husband or would I really wish he was there with me?" I've gone to plenty of weddings solo (when I was single) and have generally always enjoyed myself, but not having a SO is a lot different than leaving yours at home. As someone who hates the concept of plus ones and thinks bringing a random person to a wedding is a rude imposition on the couple, I wholeheartedly believe that people who are in long term committed relationships should be invited as a pair. I feel like inviting someone without their SO is a backhanded way of indicating to the guest that your relationship with them really isn't that strong - it basically says, I don't think you are worth the cost of two meals.

If I were invited to a wedding without my husband, I very likely would not go. I do feel like there are always some unique circumstances, so I would never say never, but most of the time we're going to be a package deal (and most of the time I'll enjoy myself so much more if he's there with me).

Yikes, I’ll wouldn’t go without my spouse. I just got invited to a wedding for a friend of mine and my fiancé isn’t invited (not that he could attend anyways since he’s busy with clinical rotations for school and their guest list is VERY limited) but I’m inviting a few coworkers and will be inviting their significant others. My single family members (my brother and cousin) will be getting a plus one. I haven’t decided if single friends will be getting one or not - but if you have an s/o in my book they are getting invited too.

I would not be the least bit offended. I would go and support my friend and have a good time. I doubt your friend meant to offend or insult you. Thus, I would not take it as such.

Weddings are EXPENSIVE guys. I don’t know your friend or their situation obviously, but when I hear something like this, I tend to give the benefit of the doubt and think that they probably weren’t trying to be rude but they were probably trying to have their friends there and still stay within their budget. This could have been their only way to have people they care about there but still keep the guest count down. As someone who had to make a lot of cuts on my guest list to stay within my set budget (and yes this was after I already cut a lot of corners with venue costs, catering, DIY on every single decoration, etc), it really sounds to me like your friend wasn’t trying to be rude or offensive. Again, I don’t know their situation but if they are really your friend, give some grace.

Nope. that's tacky AF even if you're part of a group.