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K
Devoted September 2019

Invited too many people..

Katelyn, on August 9, 2019 at 10:48 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

Our venue will be the space for both the ceremony and reception, we can easily seat more than 100 people for the ceremony, however probably only 96 for the reception. We invited 140 people to our wedding. 20 are family members of mine that I know will not be in attendance but I am still worries that we will not have enough seats for guest. Any suggestions?

14 Comments

Latest activity by allisonrose, on August 10, 2019 at 1:49 PM
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    That’s a very real possibility. Have invites actually gone out?
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2019
    Jessica ·
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    I invited 175 and only 112 are coming if that makes you feel better!
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Find a new venue that can fit everyone you invited.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I assume nothing can be done if invites already went out? We invited full families, plus ones & out of state guests so we knew we would get a lot of "no" RSVPs. But our venue could hold 300 so we didn't go over that. We invited 225 and 125 attended.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    You might want to start thinking about alternatives, if you get an RSVP count that is over your reception capacity. New venue, rent a tent to extend seating outside, etc. None of those options are great though....so I'm guessing hoping & praying you get enough "no" RSVPs is all you really can do.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree with Danielle, unless you want to have to uninvite people (which would be incredibly rude), you need to figure out what you'll do if you have more people than the venue's capacity. In most cases, capacity has to do with fire/building codes, so it is highly unlikely the venue will let you squeeze more people in because it could get them shut down. Would they be able to set up a second space (like setting up reception tables in the ceremony space or any other option on the property)? That probably wouldn't be ideal because guests in the alternate space might feel like they are "second-tier," but it's better than having to say, "oh, sorry! We actually can't have you attend, even though we invited you."

    Like others, I hope for your sake you get enough declines. For those still planning this is why you never want to invite more than your venue/budget can accommodate. By inviting 140, OP was gambling on a 31% decline rate; that's a lot. The average is about 20%, but there's no way to accurately predict. There have been plenty of brides on this forum who had 100% or really close.

    Good luck! I hope it works out for you.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Your invites went out already right ? Do they have any larger ballroom areas or an outdoor area that will be a larger capacity in case? For me we invited a ton of people but we did get a 20% decline rate.
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  • S
    Dedicated August 2019
    Susan ·
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    I invited 140 with most out of town guests and we have 96 coming!

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  • T
    Dedicated September 2019
    Teresa ·
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    I think the general rule 1/4 of the people don't show up but that's not always the case when it comes to families and weddings.

    You do need a backup plan, just in case. I would look into changing your wedding reception landscape and making it a cocktail reception with heavy passed hor d'oeuvres. This way you can eliminate some the of the seating options and have standing tables.

    Just make sure the venue is okay with any changes you make and make sure your guests are provided everything they expected when you first invited them...that includes food, drink, and entertainment.

    Don't uninvite people though, that's extremely rude.

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  • K
    Devoted September 2019
    Katelyn ·
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    Yes they have but no RSVPs yet.

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Contact your venue to see what the limit is per the fire marshall. If you can, see if some can be put outside in a tented space.

    If the fire marshall has a strict 100 person limit you risk fines and your reception being shut down.
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Honestly, you never should have invited more people than the venue can hold especially if you knew beforehand, but invited that many people anyways. It sounds like you need a new wedding venue unless you think 44 people are going to decline which is possible. We invited 140 and ended up only having 90 people RSVP yes and only 82 show up, but that doesn't mean the same the same is true for you.
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  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    That's a tough one But the way I see it is if you invited 140 but you know for sure 20 will not come that's 120 and out of that 120 I'm pretty sure only 90-100 will come. Sometimes everyone shows up but I think you'll be fine

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  • allisonrose
    Dedicated September 2019
    allisonrose ·
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    I would not count on the “30% probably won’t show” rule. We have gotten most of our RSVPs back and only 5% have said no. You really should plan on everyone saying yes instead of hoping a certain amount will say no. We also had multiple guests that verbally said months ago that they weren’t going to make it, but most of them are now able to go. So, at this point you really need to make a plan for these extra people. I would definitely ask the venue if it can be moved outside if possible and use a tent. It’s really risky to wait for all your RSVPs to come back, I really recommend doing it now.

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