Invited to ceremony but not reception??

If they were invited to a ceremony why are they expecting or looking for anything more? It’s not like they were lied to or told after they got there they couldn’t go.

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Doesn’t make it any less rude. This is not a common thing to do. The entire reason for having a reception is to thank your guests for coming to your ceremony. If you can only afford to thank some of them, your list needs to be cut to what you can afford.

Wow! I guess it depends on your culture and your relationship with the person. I did this with persons from my work, not relatives. I sent out ceremony only invitations and explained my financial situation limited me to mostly family only. A few showed up and they understood with no hard feelings. However, there have also been times when I have NOT received an invitation from person I know who were getting married and I showed support by attending the ceremony only and there were other couples who's wedding I wasn't invited to and I would still purchase and send a gift. It really depends on your relationship and how you feel about the person/couple. If you are good-hearted and sensible, you will realize the world doesn't revolve around you and that persons have different financial predicaments. Weddings are expensive and reception is the most expensive part. I don't believe in anyone going into debt just for a day. As for your parents, they aren't obligated to buy a gift, but if they feel good doing so, they can get a gift and that's ok too.

View Quoted Comment It's awkward because all the guests are very close family friends to the bride and the bride's parents. So her wedding is pretty much what everyone is talking about.. So my parents heard from everyone else about the reception following... And the bride would be very aware that mt parents would find out about it.


But none of this matters because in the end they were invited to the reception.

View Quoted Comment People kill me telling others what they should do about THEIR wedding. Maybe their reason for a reception is to thank their guests. Maybe someone else’s reason is something else. You do what you want for your own wedding. Because at the end of the day the people telling others what they should and shouldn’t do about their wedding is not pitching in one bit.

I have a situation of my tennis team wanting to come to my wedding. I nicely said that we are keeping the reception small. So they asked to come to the wedding and not the reception and I said sure, fine with me. Also our wedding and reception locations are miles apart and I wont have the reception location on the program. Only the RSVP guest will have the reception location.

It’s both rude and hurtful to be excluded from the reception. I’m still reeling from my own experience of being excluded from the reception. The celebration is as important as the ceremony. My ‘friend’ didn’t give me an excuse or even attempted to acknowledge that she excluded me from the reception. She was like family to me for 7 years.

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Yes THIS. I agree. I don't find it rude. I think that the ceremony is the most sacred part of the whole event and to be invited to that is a pure honour!! Imagine being in a situation where you are unable to invite the entire family to your reception but you still want them to have a choice to see you marry the love of your life and be present for such an important part (the most important part).

I am sure no gifts are expected. I am sure that the couple believed they were doing an amazing things offering to have this person share this window into their life. Interesting that everyone has taken it all so negatively. Perhaps we see Marriage and 'wedding' differently here in Australia?

The reception, in my opinion, is a thank you to your guests for witnessing your marriage. It is beyond impolite to invite-only to the ceremony.

It’s rude to invite people to the ceremony only. Serve everyone cake and coffee and mingle for 2 hours, which is a reception. Then they go home and you do whatever you want afterwards.

I've been invited "ceremony-only" style to 2-3 weddings. I was NOT offended. I did NOT find it rude. I tend to be a very empathetic person, though. So I understand that I am not the center of everyone's universe and that people have budget and space constraints at a venue that they may not have at a church. I, personally, was honored in each of those situations to be invited to the ceremony. They didn't have to invite me to the ceremony, but they thought I was important enough in their life to want me to witness an important part of their life. And I think that's really cool! If someone only wants a free meal and booze, then yeah they'll probably balk at a "ceremony-only' invite. As for me, I'm happy to come alongside anyone who wants me there, cuz that's what life is about - being together, being present.

View Quoted Comment I was told we would get an invite to the ceremony but not the reception… I voiced my opinion that I felt like “I’m good enough for the ceremony but not the reception? “ … so now we won’t be getting a physical invitation but was told that they would still like us at the ceremony. Supposedly the wedding couple is sending out a FB general invitation to ceremony (we’re not friends with the couple on FB we’re friends with grooms parents). Not sure how to feel about this. Known the grooms parents for years watched groom grow up and we’ve “been there” for the grooms parents for errands, house sitting, pet sitting etc… hummmm

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While this sounds sloppy and poor etiquette to have a tiered wedding, no one is entitled an invite. Couples today are paying for their own wedding and creating intentional guest lists within their budget. This means parents are no longer the funding hosts with the ability to invite their coworkers and friends. If this is the case in your scenario, it sounds like the couple is being pressured to invite everyone, but simply can't afford to feed everyone. How sad, they are pushed to be so inclusive they can't create formal invitations for fear of offending others. I'd be so mad to put out an open invite on FB like it was a community BBQ.

The invitation should say: “we request your presents but not your presence”