Invited Guests Giving Themselves a Plus-one

Unless guests are specifically given a plus one, they should not be RSVPing on behalf of themselves and any (uninvited) plus one - it is rude and presumptive and puts the marrying couple in the awkward position of having to tell the guest that their plus one isn't welcome.

If you don't want to accept the plus one (which you are under no circumstances obligated to do), let the guest know that you cannot accommodate additional guests beyond those invited.

Ooooft. I feel your pain. In order to fit into our venue we went with a strict "no plus ones" policy to keep things fair. I would reach out to those people and say something like; "Thanks for the RSVP! Unfortunately due to venue limitations, we are not allowing plus ones. I understand if this changes your RSVP, please let me know promptly." If you feel inclined you can mention your limited budget as well. Everyone I have had to explain this to understood, and several changed their RSVP to no which was fine with me.

To me, it seems very rude to just assume you get a plus one without asking. Some people don't know better and will be understanding. Good luck!

Are these people in relationships or people just adding random guests?

Anyone that identifies as in a relationship must be invited with their partner (and that is not a +1). Anyone that is truly single would get a +1, but that is optional.

😂🤣🤣🤣😂 that was one of the cool things about online invitations! They can’t add a plus one if I didn’t give them one. And no I don’t think they should be adding in plus ones…I’m sure the etiquette queens will have a few choice comments about this…

View Quoted Comment Like I said, the guests we’re inviting aren’t in relationships and just putting in a plus 1 without asking us if that’s okay to do. I don’t think it’s proper etiquette to assume we have it in the budget to accommodate extra people. Obviously we invited people in serious relationships (one of my cousins in one actually didn’t end up marking they are bringing their girlfriend even though she got invited). Hopefully my fiancé and I will have a conversation with this person and make the right decision in the end.

View Quoted Comment Saving this for the inevitable people that ask me about bringing a plus one lol - these are all great explanations!

It is absolutely wrong that they did that. Improper etiquette and rude to assume you have the budget for it. A polite phone call, or email/text if they absolutely don’t have time for phone can help clear the matter. You don’t even have to give a reason. You can simply say “I’m sorry but we cannot accommodate additional guests beyond who was listed on the envelope.”
I had this happen with 3-4 different people. Most politely backed down. Only one gave me trouble about it and asked if they could pay to bring the person, and after a further no tried to assert that they would just bring them to the ceremony (I still said no. No way am I allowing the risk of them crashing).

It’s super rude those people assumed they could bring plus ones you didn’t give them

Oh my gosh that's my worst nightmare - it is rude of them to write in plus ones. Not sure how to handle except I do like the sorry we cannot accommodate extra guests.

View Quoted Comment 100% this! This is the reason why we're doing online RSVPs (in addition to save money) and those who don't use the internet will have the option of RSVPing via a phone call, text or in-person but no one will get a paper card. Give a phone call or see them in-person to let them know you can accomodate the +1 in question. Be aware that guests can RSVP no because of this though... some people wrongfully think EVERYONE gets an automatic +1 (untill the 80's-early 90's it was very common to give a +1 to every single guest).

View Quoted Comment Yes - I saw someone on here give this criteria which is what I followed: people in long term relationships or are married get two person invites- people in the wedding party get plus one- people who won’t know anyone get plus ones. All my fiancés single player friends don’t get to bring random chicks on my dime lol I think 99% of our friends are married or in long term so only a few will be solo but they know more than half the people there- besides maybe they can hook up 🤣😂🤣😂

Any invite that wasn’t married or in a serious relationship, we asked if they would like to bring a plus one so we can keep it noted in our rsvps. We also opted to do a website rsvp where it doesn’t give our guests the option of adding a plus one. They can only confirm or deny their attendance

I only gave plus one to husbands and wives or people who have been in a relationship for a few years. if you get into a relationship 5 months before my wedding I'm sorry but that person isn't invited. I agree with charlotte some people don't know the etiquette of attending a wedding so I would just contact them and let them know you don't have the room and if they choose to not attend you understand. I gave people who are in a relationship a plus one and some of them sent back just one of them will attend and I called to let them know hey you have a plus one do you need it and if they still said no I removed their plus one.