Invited guest and plus ones

I personally think people getting married should allow people bring someone with them at a wedding. I understand that it increases the cost and forces to re think who is being invited but ask people to come by themselves can be uncomfortable. I guess you can reply to the person and explain the invitation was only for them

I didn't write "and guest," on the invites, but I guess I should have. Most of my friends have been polite enough to ask if they can, and I've told them all yes. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding all alone, even if I knew people there.

Honestly, we were very straight forward with all of our friends about plus ones. Unless you have an S.O. that you're serious with, you don't have one. It's because we have friends who would literally pick up some random girl off the street to have someone to come with and our wedding is very intimate, only close friends and family.

@Stephanie, my thoughts exactly. I have friends who I know for sure want to bring a date just because. I don't even know the person. Why would I want to meet them for the FIRST time at my wedding.?!

Wow, you sent your invites early.

Anyway, who is asking if they can bring a guest? Are we talking someone they're in a relationship with or are we talking a random guest they want to bring?

@Celeste that's why we just told our friends up front. If we haven't even heard their name before, they can't come. End of discussion. Because especially the people who would do that, our entire friend group is coming. If they don't want to ride down by themselves, are worried they'll have no one to talk to, etc. they can just call each other and set it up.

I don't understand why it would be awkward to go to a wedding without a date, unless you don't know anyone else there. When I was single, I did plenty of things alone...because I was single.

If someone told us they were dating or in a relationship, they got a plus one. It's not my job to judge how serious their relationship is. My husband still has colleagues and buddies I haven't met because they weren't invited to or couldn't attend our wedding. I'd be pissed if I wasn't invited because they hadn't heard of me. Just my opinion.

I agree on the early invites thing. My friend's wedding is the same day as yours and we received her invite over a week ago. We don't send ours out until next Monday. We didn't want people to forget about the invite with it being so far out. Anyways to answer your question, it is completely acceptable to only allow people in relationships at the time invitations were sent out to bring a plus one. Anyone not in a relationship that wants to bring a plus one can be told "due to budget OR space, we can only provide those in a relationship a plus one." However, any person in a relationship should be given a plus one.

Send a polite email explaining why you can't accommodate plus ones.

@JSmith2U wouldn't his colleagues know he's married though? Its not necessarily that we had to of met them, but if you're not mentioning your supposed S.O. to your closest friends, you can't be that serious about them. We're only inviting people very close to us who would tell us if they were in a relationship.

I have been to weddings without a date....I survived. I am able to celebrate without a date....crazy I know. I have been to 2 weddings as a plus one without being in a relationship. It was kinda weird not knowing the people getting married.

People who are in relationships get to bring their SO to our wedding. Politely let them know that due to venue and budget restrictions, you are unable to let them bring a date

We're also having a small, intimate wedding and didn't give plus ones to single guests. Everyone knows other people who are attending. so it really shouldn't be awkward for anyone. However we did have a couple singles add their own plus one, and we decided that we would just add them to the guest list. We had enough declines that it wasn't a big deal and not worth upsetting them over. I totally think there is nothing wrong with sticking to your guns on this though. It's definitely not a necessity for singles to have random plus ones.

@Stephanie I think @JSmith2U's point is that we shouldn't judge the seriousness of someone's relationship. The first line of her post said "If someone told us they were dating or in a relationship, they got a plus one." Her point is that the restrictions that some brides put on plus ones (such as saying they have to be in a "serious" relationship -- what does that even mean? -- or long-term relationship or engaged) is arbitrary. There are couples who get engaged and married after 4 months of dating and couples who break up after 4 years of dating. No one can truly judge how serious a couple is, so the basic rule of thumb that many of us follow is that anyone in a relationship gets to bring their significant other, whether you've met them or not, whether they're (your definition of) serious or not. This is not a plus one.

A true plus one is giving someone who truly does not have a significant other an option of bringing someone else with them, whoever that might be. It's completely okay to not allow that.

I would just straight up call them and inform them unfortunately space is limited and therefore they cannot bring a guest. I personally don't want a lot of people at my wedding I don't know.

I only wrote and guest for those I knew were in a relationship, and the others I addressed to just them. I figured maybe it would cut back on plus ones but if they wanted to bring someone I would be okay with it.

We put "we reserved ___ seat(s) in you honor" on the RSVP card. If they are not invited with a plus one, put 1.

RANT: I also hate when people assume they get a plus one. I don't care your age. If you're not dating anyone and will know several people at my wedding, you do NOT need a plus one. The only exception I would make is for OOT guests because some people don't want to travel solo. But if you're going 10 min down the street, why can't you hang out with your friends and/or family for a few hours without a date? You absolutely are not allowed to use my wedding as an opportunity to hook your random friend up with free food and booze. END RANT.

I'm giving plus 1s to single people who won't know many others at the wedding. And inviting SOs we're aware of by name. However most of my single friends and family members will know lots of people to mingle with.

I have many friends (and extended family that my mother wants to invite) that didn't make the cut, so yeah, if I don't know your significant other, then you aren't getting a plus one. I realize that sucks (AND doesn't make me the best host) but I just can't justify spending $97 on a person I don't know when there is someone I do know and wish I could afford to invite that I can't. I plan on being very specific on my reply card with "we have reserved ____ seats in your honor", so hopefully there is no confusion. I will defend my decision and say there is no family member or friend invited that wont know at least a small GROUP of people. What sucks is our guest is list is made and (in our eyes) confirmed. So a single friend now, may be in a committed relationship by the time we send out our invites. It could get sticky for sure.

Every adult gets a plus one. Who they bring is up to them.