Invite Wording

All long term couples should have both names addressed on the invitation. For STDs, it isn’t necessary to include both names if they don’t live together, but if they do they should both be listed.

For save the dates it’s up to you on how you want to address them since those are sent pretty far in advance, but for invitations you definitely need to list both names no matter what.

For both engaged and relationship I did Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe. I would say if you know their name, put their name. "& Guest" is usually for if who they're brining is unknown.

In the specific case you're asking about for the Save the Date I would just address it to your friend. It's just a general heads up so I don't think you necessarily need to include guest yet. If she asks about it you can say she's getting a plus one.

1. For engaged couples I wrote either Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe or in my case I didn't know some of the ladies last names so I just wrote it like they were already married ( Mr. & Mrs. John Smith).

2. For all of our friends who were in long term relationships I asked for both of their first and last names . For friends who I know are dating someone but have never met them or single guest I just put & Guest.

3. However you are addressing the invitations is how you should also address the STDs.

We didn't do any "guest" invites. We invited everyone by their names even if we haven't met them. One couple did break up, so we addressed the invite to just the bridesmaid (the save the date was addressed to her & her boyfriend). We did that for couples that live together & ones that don't.

If they are engaged, would be nice to put both names, but I wouldn't be insulted if someone who didnt know my FH did my name & guest.
To me, if you say John Doe & Specific name, I would assume that if Specific name and I broke up, I no longer had a plus one, whereas if you put John Doe & Guest, I would assume that if we broke up I still had a guest. So if you wouldn't want the person to have a plus one if they broke up, I would use the other persons name specifically. Not sure if thats the proper way of things but that's how I see it. If you want both people to come even if they break up, I would send two separate invites.
Save the dates I would do the same, I would make it clear if someone is getting a plus one on the save the date! My FHs cousin sent theirs out and weren't very clear at all, their wedding is coming up in October and I've been pretty anxious wondering if I'm invited & they sent one save the date for the whole house but 3 families live there. I know some people say you don't need to with save the dates but it makes things so much easier!

For each of my invitations with a plus one, I just Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe

I addressed the one we knew better first and the SO second. I especially made sure to put names of SO's who don't live with the invitee so they knew their SO was invited.

Thanks everyone for the input!

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So for couples who don't live together, you just mailed 1 invitation to 1 of their houses with both names on that address?

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Yep! Unless we were equally as good of friends with both of them (so if they broke up we would still invite both). Then we sent individual invites to their own homes. But for like a groomsmen with a girlfriend he doesn't live with, we still addressed theirs as one to his house.

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Ok awesome thanks!