Invite wording etiquette...military related...

Just ask them, are you comfortable with asking them?

I would, it's harmless and that way you know exactly what their title is and what to put on the invitation.

You'd be surprised on how many military men prefer not to be referred to by their military affiliations, outside of the military. My FH being one of them and my brother. My FH has been in for 10+yrs and my brother served 2 terms. You should be fine with referring to them as "Mr." Most of FH's groomsmen are retired Marines, their invites will be addressed as "Mr.". Hope this helps!

I'd use their military titles on both active duty and retired. If someone is former military (but not retired military) I wouldn't. One of my teachers was retired military and went by "Mr. X" but his desk plate said "Lt. Col X." Since it's a formal event I'd stick to the more formal title since it still applies.

@Oralia, @Anabella has better first-hand experience than I do so I'll defer to her. I'd think that anyone who retired from the military (20+ years of service) would be proud to show that as opposed to someone who was just former military but I suppose it's on an individual basis.

If they are actually officially "retired" you can use their rank if you want, but i don't think you have to. there is some sort of qualification that you have to have to be able to officially keep your rank.

that said, my brother is a captain and just goes by Mr. in civilian life. so ... i guess ask if you want (of have FH ask) but if you want to just write Mr., i doubt anyone would be offended (unless they are an a-hole like my grandfather who INSISTS AND CORRECTS people who don't call him Doctor - he has a doctorate in education. like everyone is supposed to know that?! anyway i digress...)

I think this truly depends on the person you are inviting. FH's dad is retired military (army AND navy) and he doesn't even stand up when they play his song so I would never address something to him as anything besides "Mr."

FH's mom's best friend's husband is a Colonel....and you bet your ass he wants to be addressed as such.

I think you should ask if you feel comfortable doing it. FH is active duty, but he doesn't like being called anything military related in civilian life. Whenever he gets invites to something it always just has Mr and his name, but when he gets regular mail, it says PO2 then his name. He's navy though so their titles are different. Example, FH is second class so he's PO2 (petty officer 2nd class) or FC2 (his title and then 2 for 2nd class), but in the marines a second class is a Sergeant I believe.

I'm a military wife! And I followed the proper etiquette for service members because we had a military wedding.

Active Duty:

2nd Lieutenant John Doe

Retired:

Master Seargent John Doe, USAF, Retired

If you are having a military wedding (guests in uniform) you have to use ranks. It's a military event, calling someone Mr. Isn't the proper way to address them. I also want to add you only refer to someone by their rank if they officially retired from the military or are active duty. If they just got out after a few years they are referred to as "Mr."

FH was former military along with half the groomsmen and some of his family. I never thought to put any ranks on invitations and he never said anything. I don't think anyone would be offended if you just stuck with Mr.

I would ask. i know my husband prefers not the be known by his military rank...that was his job, not his name/identity. but others are different...i would just ask.