Invite to shower, not wedding?

If they have already been invited and responded they are attending the shower, it's rude to say they can't show up. As the bride, it's not your place as the guest of honor to cancel the event. You accept the party graciously. Just like if your coworkers, book club or fellow church members hosted a shower but were not invited to the wedding, you would accept and attend their party graciously.


The ones who were cut from the wedding guest list need to be informed that the date was postponed and sent announcements afterwards. Unless the shower has to be cancelled, you don't discuss it with people who have already replied.

They’ve already been invited, I wouldn’t revoke the invitation. They know the situation and if they choose to come, I see no problem.

If they were already invited then yeah I would just let them come

They may enjoy getting to spend time with ppl even though wedding event didn't work out for including them. If they show up, they want to be there!

I think as long as they know they have not or will not be invited to the new wedding date and still choose to go to the shower, that’s fine. I would just be transparent with people so there’s no hard feelings or anyone feeling mislead.

If you have not already done so, please let them know BEFORE the shower that due to the COVID-19 restrictions, the guest list has been amended, and unfortunately you are unable to include them. If they still choose to attend, fine. If they choose not to attend, fine.

We had to do the exact same thing! Our shower is next weekend and the wedding is September 5th. My bridesmaids sent the shower invites before we had to downsize our plans (our original venue went out of business). We sent wedding invites to half our original guest list and the rest got an announcement explaining that they were no longer invited to the wedding. We did not rescind invites to the shower and everyone was super understanding. Folks who were invited to the shower are still thrilled they get to attend an event in our names, even if it isn't the wedding.

I've been applying this quote from Who's Line is it Anyway? to wedding planning in 2020: "The rules don't matter and the points are made up."

Your loved ones will love you no matter what

I would tell them they can't come to the wedding because of the restrictions, and then say you understand if they don't want to come to the shower, either. Since it's a gift-centered event, I'd make sure they know they aren't expected to, but are welcome if they still want to come. Then you're being effective about the restrictions, but also giving them the freedom to decide on their own about the shower.