Invite to shower but not wedding?

I personally think that it would be very rude to invite someone to a shower but not the wedding. That's just my take, and you will probably get a bunch of different responses here. Best of luck in your planning

I think you only invite people to the shower who are invited to the wedding.. I know you said you dont want gifts but being invited to something of corse im going to bring a gift.

"Etiquette" is that anyone invited to the shower is invited to the wedding, since a shower is usually when people bring gifts. If you want to follow "etiquette," you can just have your own party and invite whoever you want, regardless of if they're invited to the wedding. Parties don't usually dictate that guests bring presents. I would definitely tell people not to bring gifts if they plan on attending an engagement shower/party and will not be part of the future guest list.

Buuuut that is all "etiquette." I wouldn't be upset if someone told me I was invited to their shower, but they were having an intimate wedding and I wouldn't be invited. But not everyone is like that, either. I had no idea of most of the "etiquette" related things that I've learned on WW, so maybe I still have some living to do before I learn all the little this' and thats.

It’s extremely rude to invite people to a pre-wedding event and not the wedding. Also, the purpose of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts, so no, it wouldn’t make sense to have a shower and say you don’t want gifts.

Don't invite someone to a pre wedding celebration unless they are actually invited to the wedding. They'll assume they're invited to the wedding. That's basically saying, Sorry you didn't make the cut. What some people do is have a small wedding first then a bigger party later to celebrate your marriage. That way there is no confusion over whether a guest is invited or not.


If you don't want guests to feel obligated to give gifts, don't call it a shower. The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with physical gifts.
Honeyfunds are very frowned upon. Most people here will tell you to not register at all if you prefer cash gifts.
This is just my opinion. Throwing a shower or asking for money for a honeymoon is in very poor taste in the current climate. People are losing their jobs, homes, retirement funds, their lives. The economic and emotional impact will linger for some time even after we are clear of the virus itself. A honeymoon fund ESPECIALLY screams of, Fund my optional fun trip while the rest of you are still reeling from this pandemic!
Congratulations on your engagement. Sorry to be a downer. I am sure your wedding will be a bright spot in these dark times.