Invite to Bachelorette party, but not wedding

Everyone invited to any pre-wedding activity gets an invitation to the wedding.

No! Only invite people who have been invited to the wedding.

No, if you invite someone to your bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc they need an invite to the wedding as well.

Bachelorette party guests need to be invited to the wedding. I would just enjoy being able to celebrate with your best friends and not invite extra people who aren't invited to the wedding.

Absolutely not. Only people who are invited to the wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events.

No, it is rude to invite them to the bachelorette party and not the wedding.

Nope, not ok. It may hurt their feelings to go celebrate that something is happening that they won't be attending.

No - it is rude to invite anyone to a prewedding function who is not invited to the wedding.

Agree with PPs.. pre-wedding activities should be for people you're close with.. it's nice to want to include extra people, but it send the message that they'll also be invited to the big day. I would limit it to people who you've got on your guest list.

Think about it this way... For bachelorettes, traditionally the bride doesn't pay. The attendees split the cost of her meal and drinks. Even if you insist, they won't let you pay. So, you're basically telling these girls to come and celebrate you, but they don't get to be invited to your wedding. I won't even get into gifts since in my circle we don't do gifts for bachelorettes. But, can you see why people say it's rude?

Nope, if you invite them to the bachelorette party, they should be invited to the wedding.

My nice reply is that it is rude to invite them to the bachelorette party if they are not invited to the wedding.

How'd I do?

.....

Nope because it's rude. Who cares if your bachelorette party is small? I went to one with 3 women, including the bride, and it was a blast. You might not care but I've found the majority of people don't want to spend time and money to go to a pre-wedding party for a wedding they're not invited to. Chances are they'll decline and then what? Will you look for more women as filler? Celebrate with the friends you have (who are also invited to the wedding)

Maybe it's rude to be mean to someone asking for ADVICE in an ADVICE forum??

Def never posting anything on this site again. You guys acted like I already did it and that I'm literally the worst person ever. Maybe get a clue that this is my FIRST time getting married and that maybe I don't have everything figured out? I feel bad for all the rude people out there that have nothing to do but bring other women down.

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Actually it's because I really like these girls and I genuinely want them to come but this wedding is no longer for me, its for all the people in my life who have dictated the people I have to invite so now I no longer have space or money to invite many friends. So thanks for judging without knowing anything about it. #salty

View Quoted Comment We all go through guest list hassles. My dad came to me with 14 people I had never met. I told him no because we were paying for the majority of it. Sorry that your wedding is turning into something other than what you envisioned but being able to say no is a useful skill every adult should have.

I went to a bachelorette for a girl whose wedding I wasn't invited to. I'm a good friend of the bride's best friend so we know each other from other events. It was the only time I would be able to see my friend since she was in town just for the bachelorette. I bought some cute cheap lingerie as a gift and had a great time. I wasn't offended.

Anyone invited to a shower or pre wedding party should be getting an invite.

I completely understand where you are coming from though. It is so sad and shameful that people take over our weddings and are so horrible to deal with, stressful and wear us down so they can get their way. I really feel for you and get it, but at the same time, I would feel awful if I were invited to a party but not the actual wedding or reception. I mean, you owe no one an explanation, but that is how I would feel...sad.

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Id love to be able to say no to my mom that died after invites were sent out this year. So yes, my wedding that I decided to have for her while she was alive is turning into something other than I envisioned. I think I've got the adult thing pretty square, just not the frivolous etiquette aspects.

Got it. You asked if it was ok to invite them but said you only wanted nice responses -- which apparently equated to responses that validate what you wanted to do in the first place. Advice doesn't work like that.

And while I'm genuinely sorry for the loss of your mother, using that to try and turn this around on posters/making posters feel bad for responding in a way that you deem to be mean...you know what, forget it. I'm noping out of this because #salty.