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Dedicated September 2019

Invite some kids and not others?

Leah, on December 31, 2018 at 9:30 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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My FH and I are both youth sports coaches. At this point we intend to invite children of family members and only the child we coach along with their parents. This would exclude the other children in our coaching families and exclude our friend’s kids. Is this rude? I’ve seen other coaches do it this way in our area, so my biggest struggle is not letting all of our friends bring kids. If everyone brings their entire family our guest list will get out of control really fast ( way too many than the venue can accommodate) but some kids (like our students) are really important for us to be there. Any suggestions on how to handle?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Elissa, on January 2, 2019 at 6:34 PM

Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on December 31, 2018 at 9:40 AM
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I am a music teacher so I feel your pain. I really think it should be all or none though. I’m not inviting any students for this reason.
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Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on December 31, 2018 at 9:43 AM
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I am not having any kids at my wedding.
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VIP March 2019
Abby · on December 31, 2018 at 9:44 AM
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Unfortunately etiquette would say you invite all kids or none. Otherwise some people might see the other kids there and wonder why they could being their kids. I'm a nanny as well as a babysitter on the side and love all of my kiddos but we don't have the space either. Luckily my nanny kids will be allowed to come because their mom is a bridesmaid and one of them is the ring bearer. Wedding party is where we made the only exception.
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Dedicated April 2019
Elizabeth · on December 31, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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I had this discussion the other day with my fiancé’s aunt. I don’t want kids (under 5) at the wedding, however, I wanted certain kids to be ring bearer and a flower girl. She knew that certain, dramatic family members may be jealous and recommended having a kids room for the ceremony portion (I don’t mind them being present at the reception). She also volunteered to pay for their food and the sitter. I’m not too fond of that idea either. I’ll probably just go with my original plan of “no kids” and hope that folks will respect my wishes.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on December 31, 2018 at 10:10 AM
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I absolutely would not invite one child from a family and not their siblings. I’d definitely go all or none in this situation.
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Super October 2019
Brittany · on December 31, 2018 at 10:25 AM
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I was in a similar situation where I had to decide if I wanted to invite like 5 or so kids, or all, or none. My dad who is paying for the wedding mentioned that I shouldn't invite some kids but not all...and he wants kids there...so all family kids are invited. I agree though, I would make the decision to invite all kids or none.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on December 31, 2018 at 11:03 AM
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I think inviting children who are part of your or your FH's family (i.e. nieces and nephews) is fine, especially if they're in your wedding party. But you're under no obligation to invite kids you know from work, or their parents. That is a professional relationship; your wedding is personal. As a teacher, I could never imagine inviting students or their families to my wedding!
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Expert August 2019
Madelyn · on December 31, 2018 at 11:37 AM
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I’m with you were doing some not all, but for us it ends up being just our nieces and nephews (all in the wedding anyways) plus the family I nannied for all through college (their youngest is a flower girl)
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Dedicated September 2017
Elissa · on January 2, 2019 at 6:34 PM
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We said no kids except the wedding party (5 young children) and guests coming from outside the country. The out of country guests ended up leaving their kids at home. Only one guests pushed on on bringing her kids, and we held firm to our rule. A number of local guests who are parents actually thanked us for having adults only as they could relax and have fun.
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