Invite sister's ex-husband?

Fast forward to this year when we sent our STDs. We invited her and her husband. Well, she just had dinner with my parents and told them that they’re getting divorced (at the age of 20), but are still very good friends. In fact, they’ve had an open marriage for several months and she’s been seeing someone else. This brings me to my dilemma. I was never close to her husband; in fact, my mom thinks that my sister forbade him to speak to me, because he’d literally never say more than “hi, how are you?” We invited him because they were married, and he and my FH get along well. And I have no problem with him still coming – I like him, I just don’t really know him. The problem is, do we have to invite her new boyfriend? None of our family has met him yet, my sister and I are still not close, and wouldn’t that be awkward to have my sister, her ex-husband, and her new boyfriend? Not to mention that we planned two seats for them, not three. There’s so much more I could say about her and me and whatnot, but I think this covers the basics. Any advice?

I would say just giver her a +1, she can bring who she wants. If I was getting divorced I would assume I was no longer invited to a wedding in my SO's family.

I agree with @Blair and @Sarah

That's the difficulty - sorry if I didn't explain this well. He's still a family member. We're still celebrating his birthday and he's coming to thanksgiving and christmas.

We're inviting my cousin's ex-husband and both of their SOs. She introduced him to our family when I was 13. He's been my cousin for more than half my life. He is on very good terms with the rest of our extended family, and with my cousin's parents and sister. Their daughter is my FG. This will also not be the first major family event that they've been asked to set aside their differences. I left it completely up to him to decide whether he was comfortable coming, and just wanted him to know that our family would love for him to come if he could. He recently told me he plans to be there.

I feel like that situation is a little different than your in that I actually like my cousin's ex-husband and it doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship with your sister's ex-husband. I'd say you're not obligated to invite him. Does he still live in the same house as your sister? Has only your sister seen the invitation, or would her ex-husband have seen it, yet? If he's seen it and interested in coming, I'd just let it happen, but if he doesn't live at the house, I think you can mention to your sister that she doesn't have to show it to him and she is welcome to bring her new bf.

Yes, you should absolutely invite her SO. Leave it up to your sister and her bf to decide if she is ready to bring him to a family event and to decide whether it would be too awkward if, indeed, her ex-husband really will be there.

Our whole family just went to his concert today, and he spends more time with my parents than he does with his own. And I think probably my parents will be hurt if he's not invited

Yeah just give her a plus 1 and leave it up to her

@bluehen, my sister and I don't speak. They do still live together and he knows he's invited.

Can you talk to your sister about it? Let her have a plus 1 so she can decide which one she would like to bring.

@fitz we don't speak. I've tried for years but she's kinda just decided that I don't exist. She was supposed to be a bridesmaid and now I don't even know if she's coming to the wedding. If we were on good terms this wouldn't even be an issue cuz I could discuss it with her, but I haven't even heard from her that she's getting divorced or is seeing someone. I was told by our parents.

Do your parents speak with her? Can they let her know she can bring the bf?

@bluehen, I guess that's what I'll have to do. I feel awful uninviting her ex. He's nicer than she is, honestly. @rachel, I don't dislike him, I just don't know him. None of us have met the new boyfriend and my parents want her ex there. Also they say they're still good friends. I mean they still live together and they do stuff together, just as friends. I don't think there's a problem with still inviting him, I'm wondering if all three are supposed to be invited or if we just give her a plus 1. Thanks everyone. It sucks

I wouldn't invite her bf. I admit I'm old fashioned but if they're still married she has no business dating.

I would leave the invitation as is. If they're friendly and do things together they can do that for your wedding.

A married person bringing someone else to a wedding seems disrespectful to the whole point of the wedding IMH. But I'm an old fogie